Thanks to being some of the biggest personalities across the pond in the UK, MADD mother-daughter duo in social media/reality television personalities Sue and Imani Evans are bringing their talents to INSCMagazine in a weekly dating advice column titled, ‘Agony Aunt Advice”
Agony Aunt Advice will cover and address various questions about dating, sex and relationships from readers both across the pond and here in the States. If you have a question, you’d like for Sue and Imani to answer in a column, please send them to our email of [email protected]
Dear Imani and Sue,
I absolutely adore Kim Kardashian’s curvy figure, but I’m very skinny and have no boobs or bum, so I want to have a Brazilian butt lift and a boob job to achieve a body like Kim’s and feel more confident. My fiancé is firmly against it though because he’s not a fan of the curvy look.
Should I have the surgery anyway?
Imani says: –Just because you adore the way someone looks it doesn’t mean you should change your body to look like theirs. What happens when you adore someone else in the future? You could end up chasing your tail in a vicious cycle of surgery. Don’t forget, all these images you see of celebrities are edited to extreme lengths! Confidence won’t magically come with a new bum and a pair of new tits. You need to work on yourself and dig a little deeper for true confidence.
I recommend reading inspirational books and a favorite of mine is ‘Big fat lies women tell themselves’ By Amy Ahlers. Your fiancé clearly loves you for who you are and I hope he continues to support you on this journey of self confidence. If later down the line you still decide to have surgery, do it for yourself and not to look like anyone else.
Sue says: I totally agree with Imani, besides, Kim isn’t just boobs and bum anyway. Its the whole package that gives her that exotic look. Her skin color, hair styles, tiny waist.. plus her height, lips, eyes and jawbone. I hope you can see where we are going with all of this. If anyone wants to look like somebody else they have to REBUILD everything. Boobs doesn’t make you beautiful and neither does a big butt. YOU make yourself beautiful by embracing what you have and flaunting it for all its worth, which in my opinion is EVERYTHING! Its all about confidence darling, it beats surgery every time.
I’m madly in love with my girlfriend and want to propose to her but my budget for an engagement ring is quite small. Whenever we walk past jewelry stores though my girlfriend always points to big diamond rings so I’m worried she’ll be massively disappointed if I don’t give her a huge sparkler. What’s your advice?
Imani says: – First of all, I sympathize with you. Us women are very fussy and I’m not surprised you’re feeling nervous after she’s pointed out that she has very expensive taste. If you don’t have a big budget you could engrave the ring with something special like the date you met or something else that’s meaningful. Women love to know that thought has gone into a gift so although it may not be the most bling bling ring on the shelf it will definitely mean something to her and she will love it! Make sure her nails are done before you get down on one knee though!
Sue says: – Trust me darling, your girlfriend (like most of us girls) like to live on cloud 9 from time to time. Of course she knows who she is dating and how much cash you have. She is just fantasizing that’s all so don’t panic OK? When I first got engaged I looked at rings that cost more than my house and my fiancé and I enjoyed the unrealistic dream together. Your lady will be happy just because you asked her to marry you so just do your best and buy something nice. Its better to spend money on your wedding and your new life together than to blow all your money on one ring and then have to scrape the barrel afterwards. Trust me, I know.
Hello Sue and Imani,
I’ve been with my girlfriend for two years and noticed she’s on social media a lot. To feel more secure i’d like for us to know each other’s passwords/logins and be able to check there’s nothing dodgy going on (i.e. Flirting or internet dating!). I’d be happy for my girlfriend to have my passwords for my social media and phone, so is it reasonable for me to ask for hers? If so, how do I approach the subject?
Imani Says: Trust is extremely important in a relationship and unless you have serious suspicions that she is doing something she shouldn’t then I wouldn’t go down that road if I was you! You obviously want her passwords for a reason which means you will be accessing her accounts and snooping through her messages etc. Do you really want to live your life like that? If it’s the amount of time she spends on social media that is bothering you then have a chat with her. Ask her to check her phone less when you two are spending quality time together. I wouldn’t go asking for her passwords as she isn’t a child and doesn’t need a babysitter. Trust your girlfriend unless she gives you a solid reason not too.
Sue says: – No way! Is there trouble in paradise or are you just gunning for a fight? If you ask for access she might just show you the EXIT sign over the door baby! I mean seriously now, are you actually for real? Maybe you would be happy for her to be nosy all over your accounts but I don’t know anyone else who would want that sort of activity in their relationship. That kind of request will show her your major insecurity problems and a whole lot more. To answer you bluntly ….Do NOT approach the subject because it is not right or healthy and it certainly isn’t pure. Respect your girlfriends space and give her the privacy that she deserves MATE.
Dear Imani and Sue,
My boyfriend keeps asking to have anal sex with me even though he knows I’m not keen on it and have never done it before. Even though it’s definitely not something that appeals to me, should I just do it to keep him satisfied?
Imani says:- You shouldn’t ‘just do’ anything to make someone else happy. You are both important in this relationship and if you aren’t keen on doing something, don’t do it. They are no grey areas in this scenario! Tell him to stop asking you and let him know that if you’re happy to experiment in that arena at a later date then you will be the one to initiate it. The more he pushes, the more it’s likely to put you off for good!
Sue Says: No means No, Not now and maybe not never. I take it that you both speak the same language, so if that is the case then its time for him to stop! No person has the right to pressure another person into doing things that make them feel uncomfortable. Its sounds like he is trying to wear you down with his persistence. Don’t compromise just to shut him up because if you do he will keep using the PRESSURE tactics again and again because he will know that you are weak in your resolve. Stay strong my dear.
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Special thanks to Sue and Imani Evans, King Publishing and Intrigue Agency for their help and assistance.