Lifestyle Relationships Uncategorized

Dating & relationships: Do you ever get over your first love?


Maybe the attraction started in elementary, middle or High School but at some point, he/she caught your eye, and the lust began. On a personal note, mine began my sophomore year of High School. She was a freshman, but I was sprung the first moment I laid eyes on her. I can remember what she had on 20+ years later, a white Sergio Tacchini sweatsuit, all classic white Reebok and these huge gold onyx-plated earrings with her name in them. Yes, she had that ever-lasting effect on me then, and somehow she still does.

But, maybe it was different for you. Maybe it was the girl/boy next door, the one you played hide-n-seek with or the one in the neighborhood you always seen but never had the heart to say anything to. But, if you had that experience and it never worked out or maybe it did, is it possible to ever get over your first love?

For some, they managed to marry their first, never experienced anything outside of that and while some may look at that as not living, I disagree. We all search for that special person, and if you manage to find it on your first try, kudos to you. Share your wisdom with the rest of us, don’t be like me and think the grass was greener on the other side and then realize when it’s too late that you made the biggest mistake of your life by pushing her away.

When we’re young, we think it will never work out for the long-term, so we let our minds and hearts wander, missing the point of it all. But as we get older, then we realize what love is, and we think back to past situations where we would’ve, should’ve and could’ve done it differently but when we go to reconcile we find that he/she has moved on.

We try to do the same, but it never works out because we are comparing, comparing what we have to what we want, or what we had, only to find out that it will never be the same. You may love the next person, but your heart knows that no connection will ever be as great as the first time.

Whoever came up with the term “love is a drug” was spot on. That first time doing a drug is unreal, but afterward, you are left chasing that first high that will never come again. Love is the same way, nothing will ever compare to the first, we can chasetrack it for an eternity, might find a few suitable replacements to fill that void but in the back of your mind, you know the truth.

Me, I was given a second chance, hell, even a 3rd and to be honest if I wanted to try again I will bet my life I can get a fourth, but do I deserve that? She told me years ago; it didn’t matter what I would become in life, all she wanted was me, that is love. Years later I’ve come to realize she was the one for me all the way back in 1992, no one else mattered, no swivel head looks at other women, I respected her too much for that, and it’s safe to say, that I still do.

When younger, we wanted that Love Jones love, to be in it, but still deny it and as we get older we are search for that Notebook love, the one that lets the world know where we stand, the forever, till death do us part and beyond love. This is what I think of when I think of my first love. There is no way you can ever get over it, if you can then it was never real, to begin with.


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Robert D. Cobb
Founder, Publisher and CEO of INSCMagazine. Works have appeared and featured in places such as Forbes, Huffington Post, ESPN and NBC Sports to name a few. Follow me on Twitter at @RobCobb_INSC, email me at [email protected]