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Dating & Relationships : How To Be A Nice Guy And Not Finish Last


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Many men have been asking the same question for years. It’s a question that is very hard to answer because most women don’t want to tell the ugly truth.

The question, of course, is “Why do nice guys finish last”? I am going to give you an exclusive peek into most women’s brains and explain why many women don’t go for the typical “nice guy” and how you can still be nice but make yourself more desirable.

It seems like common sense, women always complain about dating jerks when the nice guy is right in front of them. Yet whom do these women go to bed with? The jerk. Who would these women blow you off for? The jerk. I will try to explain this crazy way of female thinking. 

Gentlemen, brace yourselves.

This whole concept of being passed over for the self-absorbed jerks and bad boys time and time again frustrates nice guys like crazy. Why are these women so blind to see what is right in front of their face? Yet these same women will complain to the nice guys about  the bad boys.

Will this ever change? Unfortunately the answer is a big fat NO.

Women aren’t blind to nice guys; they don’t need a Braille cheat sheet. They see you and know you’d give them the world. That is actually part of the problem. Nice guys are too available. Desperation stinks more than your Acqua Di Gio cologne and while we’re on that, guys please change your fragrance. It reminds every girl of EVERY guy she ever dated. I suggest Axe–and please avoid Cool Water, unless you’re still a freshman in college.

Most human beings are attracted what we cannot have. The chase is thrilling and leads to sexual desire and shows women that the guy is worth having, it’s the thrill of the chase that has been ingrained into our collective DNA since the Stone Age. A nice guy that makes it easy and is willing to do anything to get a woman’s attention isn’t appealing. We want to know you have options and that you aren’t a pushover.

Women don’t want a man just handed to them.

Most nice guys worry about coming off as the perverted jerk so they may refrain from flirting. For a lot of women, that isn’t attractive and throws you into the dreaded sexual/social abyss known as “the friend zone”. Women want to feel desired and sexy. We know men are very visual and want to know we’ve caught their eye.  It boosts our self-esteem, which gets you much further.

Nice guys can be confident, but it doesn’t always show. A lot of nice guys get rejected yet keep trying for the same woman. They know they are a catch and don’t understand that women don’t see them as boyfriend material. You may as well ask her out in a foreign language. A lot of guys think they can just hang out until the woman grows tired of dating jerks and then she will eventually marry the nice guy. The problem with that is that it comes off as too needy and quite honestly, pathetic.

In no way am I bashing nice guys. I know several nice guys and they deserve the most amazing women out there. So how can you still be nice and finish first?

To start, stay true to yourself. I definitely am not saying become a jerk. No woman is worth completely changing yourself for.

Don’t be too available. Nice guys will do anything and everything for us. While this sounds appealing, it’s a turn off to most women. Women want a chase and someone with an edge. We want the bad boy who can dominate us but be soft and sweet when needed.

Let your confidence shine, you’ve got this. Show her you are worth having. Be nice to her but don’t be a pushover. If she blows you off, move on. Let it be known that you won’t wait around for her to make up her mind. If she doesn’t want to jump right on you, she is not that into you.

Don’t be her friend. It rarely ever turns into romance. In most cases if you become her shoulder to cry on, that is all you will ever be. So unless your shoulder wants more action than you do, refrain from becoming the “BFF”. Once you’re in the friend-zone, there is really no getting out. You have a better chance of escaping from Alcatraz.

Many women aren’t playing hard to get, you’re playing hard to want. Be with someone who wants you as bad as you want him or her. Value yourself, rock your confidence, and go create your happily ever after. Or if you’re a true bad boy, your happy ending.

 

 

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Robert D. Cobb
Founder, Publisher and CEO of INSCMagazine. Works have appeared and featured in places such as Forbes, Huffington Post, ESPN and NBC Sports to name a few. Follow me on Twitter at @RobCobb_INSC, email me at [email protected]