Toxic people, emotional vampires, we all have them in our lives. They’re the people who leave that roller coaster feeling in the pit of your stomach. The people who make you groan when you see them, or duck into a room when you see them coming down the hall.
I have been dealing with some for a number of years now. So I would like give you some coping tips for dealing with the vampires in your life:
If they are not someone who you are required to interact with (family, co-workers, etc.) then drop them like they’re hot! It is really the simplest way to deal with someone who is toxic.
If you are not required to interact with them, then don’t. The execution of this can be difficult,
If you are required to interact with them, here are a few coping tips I can offer:
- Recognize that perception problems are theirs, not yours. Toxic people often ascribe traits that they do not like in themselves to others. Recognize that other people’s perception of you is not always correct, and that it may be influenced by a number of factors, including the toxin’s own insecurities.
- Know that you can’t control the crazy. I’m not talking about a clinical diagnosis (which would be something that could be controlled with medication or therapy, and I would certainly not call someone with a legitimate medical issue crazy). Some people are crazy and irrational despite there not being a diagnosis. Just know that there is no cure for this type of crazy. If they believe that the sky is purple, you can tell them that it is blue, you can show pictures of a beautiful blue sky, you can show them that the sky is blue, but they will continue to believe that the sky is purple. This is their failure to comprehend reality, and nothing you do can fix this.
- Some people just want to watch the world burn. There is no good answer for why these people do what they do or say what they say. You can only hope to contain the spread of this type of toxicity. I have found the best way to deal with these people is to deal with them the way you do an errant toddler. I-G-N-O-R-E. It’s one of the hardest things to do, I know. But rising to their crazy makes you both crazy. Again, containment.
- See the good in yourself. You need to know who you are, and not let others affect your self-worth. You know who you are. They may not be able to see your worth, but if you define a fish’s worth by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is worthless. Though this analogy is generally applied to intelligence, I believe that it is equally applicable to worthiness.
I initially intended for this blog to be about freezer meals and life hacks, but this topic is on my heart, and I thought I would share with my dozen or so readers, and I hope that it is helpful to someone.