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After catching a recent afternoon matinee of the new Cameron Diaz-Jason Segel comedy, “Sex Tape”  this weekend, I came away with the conclusion that I should have watched “Transformers: Age Of Extinction” for the second time instead.

While it may be proverbial blasphemy to ever give a Michael Bay film any type of praise in a review, I couldn’t help but feel like I wished that I was watching Dinobots rampage thru Hong Kong a third of the way into it instead of seeing the disjointed, bland and utterly painful-to-watch awkwardly dull comedy about a married couple having intimacy issues.

For all of it’s promise and interesting subject, “Sex Tape” is more like a gloried and raunchy infomercial on the problems that plague many married couples today in not finding enough time for each other, initiating sex, potential loss of attraction and trying to “spice things up”.

Directed by Jake Kasdan(Bad Teacher), “Sex Tape” is the story of a Jay(Segel) a successful music producer and Annie(Diaz), a successful stay-at-home blogger, who fall head over heels in love with each other, have sex at every opportunity, eventually marry and have two children.

In a classic sense of irony, it is the lack of sex due to raising a family, as they are now both parents working and not having—or making time for each other—that lands them in their comical dilemma, when they decide to make a iPad sex tape of themselves that uploaded into the cloud server.

In a frantic and desperate search to recover all the iPads and erase the evidence of their debauchery, Jay and Annie come to question and discover why they started and stopped having sex with each other in the first place.

I will say this, if you’re single, the only thing that you might get out of watching “Sex Tape” is the chance to ogle Diaz’s 42-year-old hotness for a majority of the movie, if you’re married, you may either find “Sex Tape” more appealing to you—and painfully hitting close to home—as it touches on real-life issues for today’s married couples.

The plot itself is rather dull, bland and predictable with mediocre supporting characters such as (Tess)Ellie Kemper and (Robbie) Rob Corddry who viewed Jay and Annie’s “exploits”, Rob Lowe as the cocaine-snorting/Slayer-loving head of a company, who wishes to buy Annie’s blog, “Who’s Yo Mommy” and Jake Black as the proprietor of the real-life video-sharing adult entertainment site, YouPorn.

In the end, “Sex Tape” for all of it’s potential, is nothing more than a bad R-rated 94-minute stale reminder of what it’s like to be married, have a job and children, and lose attraction to one’s mate.

Thanks to the total lack of chemistry—awkward is the best word, I would describe—between Diaz and Segel, the bad sixth-grade level crotch jokes, promotion of internet porn and unjustified hype, “Sex Tape” comes up well short of expectations that is a total waste of time—and money—that makes you wish you watched something else instead.

 

 

Rating : 4.9/10

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