(Editor’s Note: This post contains adult and graphic language that some may find inappropriate, reader direction is advised.)
Dear Ms. X,
I love having sex, but it doesn’t matter what I do, I can’t last! Any suggestions to help me not be a two-pump chump?
~Jack B. Quick
It sucks when you feel like an underachiever, especially in the bedroom. But you’re not alone. Around 30 percent of men from 18 to 60 struggle with premature ejaculation, and nearly 50 percent of all sex lasts less than two minutes. With over one in four men cumming too quick, PE is the number one problem men face when it comes to sex.
But there is hope! Years ago, the sexual pioneers Masters and Johnson developed a self-help program that still has a 90 to 95 percent success rate.
Want to know their secret?
Make sex a whole body experience.
When it comes to sex and men, the focus is always on his cock. He touches his cock. She touches his cock. She kisses his cock. His cock touches her. You already know how this goes. With all the focus directly on the most sensitive part of your body, it’s a wonder every man’s not cumming in 30 seconds. The fact is, too much penis stimulation will lead to premature ejaculation.
So what do you do about it?
You slow down. Women have been complaining for years that men move to quick and don’t pay attention to anything but breasts, butts, and pussy and apparently there’s some truth to that. Instead of focusing on penetration, make it an intimate and sexual whole body massage. You’ll learn ejaculatory control and your lady will love it because she’ll be getting the sex she always wanted. A win-win, if you ask me.
Here’s what you need to know:
· It’s not a race to the finish line—Whole body sex is leisurely, so you need to embrace having relaxed sex; the ideal length of sex is between 10 and 25 minutes, way longer than the five to seven minute average
· Breathe your way to success—Deep breathing and mental relaxation techniques help you turn down the dial when things get too hot; learn to breathe from the stomach and focus on baseball, not pussy
· It’s easier on your nervous system—When your whole body’s aroused, the nervous system isn’t as stressed and less likely to jump the gun; once you start incorporating other body parts, you’ll be amazed that sex can feel even better
· Do it as a couple—Talk to your partner about your PE (don’t worry, she already knows) and make your self-help practice a couple-help practice; this increases intimacy and lets you grow together as a couple
· Practice like you play—If you beat it quick and hard when you masturbate, you’re going to fuck that way too; make each masturbation session last at least 10 minutes and practice a stop-go-stop-go rhythm
· Pick the position—Sure you like the view from doggy style, but the best positions to prevent PE have less friction, use a back and forth movement in lieu of in and out, and have her controlling the motions
· Practice your kegels—Kegel exercises strengthen the muscles you use to ejaculate and help you learn orgasm control; squeeze the muscles you use to make your dick dance—the same ones you use to stop pee midstream—flexing and releasing over and over, or if you prefer, there’s an app for it that I absolutely love (droid or iOS)
· It’s progress, not perfection—You’re not going to overcome PE in a day, or a week for that matter, so recognize small accomplishments; when you do cum too quick—because you will—shrug it off and remember you’re working on it
· Quit stressing about it—I don’t want to say it is what it is, but stressing about your PE is just making it worse; anxiety increases the stress hormone cortisol, kicking in your flight or fight instinct and making you cum quick so you can get out of danger
So, Jack, my advice is to slow down and fuck like you’ve got all day. Touch everywhere, take your time, and soon, you’ll be able to last all night.
Best of luck,
Author Bio: Ms. X has had a passion for educating people about sex, love and marriage since she was 14. You can find her here.