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The not-so-recent Hulk Hogan controversy has really made me think of late, how could a man, who has done so much for an entire industry, not to mention the numerous charitable things he has done and his effect on kids in the 1980’s cannot be understated either. How does this man basically get wiped off the face of the earth for one comment?
Think about this, he says one remark, and boom, he no longer exists.
This is not the fault of Hulk Hogan, the WWE or even Viacom (who owns USA Network among other entities’). No, the issue here is the PC police who have taken over the world. You have to remember, these words only have meaning and power if WE give them that meaning and power. And although political correctness may have had the best of intentions, the road to hell is paved with them.
Think of the list of people who have lost almost everything they have because of a perceived prejudiced: Hogan, Michael Richards, Mel Gibson, Paula Deen, Gilbert Gottfried and even Jesse James. All of them have said something that they have at least apologized for, if not been actually contrite.
Let me say, for the record, I am not a racist, bigot or any other kind of prejudiced. I just hate idiots and assholes, and those my friends come in all colors, religions and sexual orientations. A White asshole is just as bad as a Japanese asshole. By the same token, a Black brilliant human is just as amazing as a Gay Mexican brilliant human.
With all that being said, I was wondering how many stupid, racist offensive jokes it would take to offend everyone on the planet, I think I am up to the task. Now I will warn you, what you are about to read will make your stomach turn, make you say he did not just say that, and most importantly, if you look at it honestly, will make you laugh your ass off. So anyway here goes:
1.) What’s the difference between a balloon and a big Jewish nose? Both of them are full of hot air.
2) What’s the difference between a black and a tire? A tire won’t sing when you put chains on it
3) What does a lesbian use for potpourri? A can of tuna
4) What is the West Virginia State motto? 5 Million People, 10 last names
5) How do Ethiopians celebrate their children’s first birthday? By putting flowers on their graves
6) How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Don’t be stupid a feminist can’t change anything
7) How do you kill a redneck? Wait ’till he fucks his sister then cut the brakes on his house.
8) How can you tell if your best friend is gay? His dick tastes like shit
9) What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing you already done told her twice.
10) How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altar boy.
11) How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? They don’t. They arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being black.
12) What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong.
13) Why do Mexicans never have Sex Ed. and Driver’s Ed. on the same day? They have to give the donkey a break at some point
14) So I suggested to my wife that she’d look sexier with her hair back… Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
15) A Jew, a black, and a Muslim are on a frozen lake, not talking to each other, so I thought I would go over there and break the ice.
16) I came home one day and my girlfriend was packing her bags. I asked her what was going on, and she says through her tears, “You’re a pedophile!”And I said, “That’s an awfully big word for a 6 year-old.”
17) How did Rihanna know Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
18) What part of a vegetable can’t you eat? The wheelchair.
19) Why are most Guidos named Tony? When they got on the boat to America they stamped To NY (Tony) on their foreheads.
20) How do you get a fat girl in bed? Piece of cake
21) How many Alzheimer’s patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.
22) Two terrorists are chatting. One of them opens his wallet and flips through pictures.
23) “You see, this is my oldest. He’s a martyr. Here’s my second son. He’s a martyr, too.” The second terrorist says, gently, “Ah, they blow up so fast, don’t they?”
24) What’s black and sits at the top of a staircase? Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
25) Do you know what I hate most of all, Indian givers … No, I take that back
26) How does a Scotsman find a sheep in tall grass? Very satisfying
27) What’s the difference between a Catholic Priest and acne? Acne doesn’t come on a boys face until after he’s thirteen
28) What’s better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.
So there you have it, it only took me about 30 jokes to not only offend everyone, but I would guess to make at least 90% laugh at least 25 of the jokes.
Which really proves my point, that these words are only hurtful when they are said with such venom behind them. I would venture to say that if said with a certain jocularity behind them, you can say anything you want. But of course, as soon as you do and get labeled as a racist or bigot or hate monger, it is too late.
I put it to you, is the problem the language we use and the words we say, or is that other people are pointing out we should be mad at what is said and then we get angry? I would have to say, unequivocally it is the latter. Which is a shame.
Think about the kind of world this could be, if people could make an off colored joke or remark without being totally ostracized.