Dating & Relationships Men Relationships

Secrets Women Keep from Men Can Affect a Relationship – According to a Marriage Counselor

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The love of your life – sweetheart – sex kitten looks into your eyes and professes her love for you – and you believe her because you love her. I mean, you can tell that she loves you by the way she smiles at you, takes care of you, supports you,  makes love to you, and how she always seems to know just what you are going to say and do – before you say or do it.

BUT, even though you know a lot about your partner, there are probably some things you just don’t know – things she hasn’t told you for a variety of reasons – some good and some bad.


Wait – what?! Yep, I bet there are some things your partner would like to tell you, but can’t or won’t for some reason. So, it’s up to you to figure out what she could be keeping from you. Why? Well, so you can discover what lies beneath, of course. When you have a firm grasp on what she may be hiding, you will be more apt to understand how she ticks. And, once you figure out how she ticks, your relationship will race off of the tracks. In other words, you will develop a newfound appreciation for who she is deep inside and she will develop a newfound appreciation for your efforts. So, are you ready to open Pandora’s Box? Yes? Well go for it!

Listed below are secrets that your partner may be keeping from you:

    • Secret #1: “I Just Need a Little Space” – I hate to break it to you, guys, but when a woman tells you that she “just needs a little space,” what she’s really saying is that “she’s just not that into you anymore.” Ouch. So, what’s the real problem? Well, most likely, she is either mad at you or simply bored with the relationship – BUT she’s not sure she wants to throw in the towel just yet, hence, the phrase “a little space.” You probably think, “Oh, she’ll come around, if I give her space,” but what really happens is when you walk away – she finds someone new.And, guess what? Even though your partner says she wants a “little space,” well, the truth is, she doesn’t really mean it, so if you actually do walk away, she feels abandoned and/or unloved. On the flip side, if she really does want space from you – I mean like really, really, and you keep hounding her, she may just call the police on you, which means – the relationship is officially over. So, what should you do in this scenario? Well, I suggest you walk a very fine line between giving her a “little space,” and  letting her know you’re still invested, and willing to work things out, whenever she’s ready.
    • Secret #2: “No, It Doesn’t Bother Me that You Have Female Friends” Yeah, right. Truthfully, it really does bother women, when their partners have a lot, or even one or two close female friends. Women, in relationships, tend to view other females (especially those around their men) like kryptonite. No, seriously, so of course, she doesn’t like other women hanging around “her man.”So, if a man chooses to keep all two dozen of his “close female friends” around, he should be prepared to get major “shade” from his partner. She won’t tell him not to have the friends (hence, the secret), but, she may exhibit her true feelings in a passive aggressively way, through some innocent-not-so-innocent jabs at the other females. So, if you don’t get rid of the other women or at least wean the number down, well, let’s just say, this relationship may not survive.
    • Secret #3: “Do You Want to Start a Family One Day?” – This is a common secret that women keep from their partners. Women, who want children, want their partners to say, “YES!” So, this is almost like a test question. So, if you say, “Umm…no, not really” to a woman, who desperately wants the white picketed-fence, complete with a husband, children, and a dog, there will be problems in the relationship, even if she keeps this secret to herself.It is important to understand that she may not say a peep to you, because she wants to “keep you” even though she still really wants the husband and kids dream to come true. Unfortunately, however, over time, she may start to have massive resentment towards to you for not being “that guy.”On the flip side, if you answer, “Yes, I’d love to get married and have children,” to a woman, who has no intention of getting married or having children. She may also keep this secret to hold on to you. The results, however, will be the same – resentment. But, this time she will be resentful towards you because she thinks you want to “tie her down” – when she doesn’t want to be “tied down.” Either way, this relationship is doomed, if everyone isn’t honest about how they feel and what they want.
  • Secret #4: “What She Really Thinks About Your Family” – So, how well does your wife or girlfriend get along with your family, specifically, parents, siblings, and grandparents? She loves them! Hmm…are you sure? Or, is she just telling you what you want to hear? What if she really isn’t too fond of the Queen Bee in your life (MOM)? Would it change how you feel about her? Would it be a deal-breaker for your relationship? If so, that’s probably why she would never tell you what she really thinks about your family.Let’s be real, criticizing your family could do major damage to your relationship, so even if they treat her like crap, she’s probably going to keep her mouth shut – for as long as she can, anyways. She knows the minute she says one unkind word about your family, you will feel as if she is making you choose between them and her, which will lead to a boatload of resentment on your end. How should you handle this? Well, if you see friction between your family and your girl, keep them away from each other and refuse to stand for “bad-mouthing” from either party.In summary, it’s common to assume that men have secrets, but what about women? What are some of the secrets women keep, because, guess what? They have some too. Maybe, women are more discreet with their secrets or maybe women are a little too vocal, letting many of their secrets slip out during heated arguments – either way, women are no pillars of virtue when it comes to being 100% honest and telling their partners everything. Some of these secrets stem from stupid mistakes that they simply don’t want to think about, let alone rehash, while others are desires and/or fears that they are too afraid to bring up.Regardless of the origin of the secret, it’s important to unearth it, if you want to connect on a deeper and more personal level.

Disclaimer: You will never know all of your partner’s secrets, just like she will never know all of yours, but being as open and truthful as possible will strengthen your love and trust in one another and your relationship.

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Andrew W.
Andrew is a health writer for the Between Us Clinic. The Between Us Clinic provides sex-therapy online programs for men and couples experiencing premature ejaculation.
https://www.betweenusclinic.com

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