Regardless what many may think there are rules to this whole step-parenting role. But what are those rules? To be honest it depends on the situation.
You meet a man or woman and the relationship starts to grow and the subject of meeting the kids come up. If you know that this is the person you want to be with then it’s an easy choice. But as a single person with no kids, the decision will change your life forever. Here are 5 essential hot to’s to make your life better as a step parent.
Many new step parents fall victim to this. They meet the kid/kids and become so focused on getting their approval that they tend to lose themselves in the process. If you came into the situation liking certain sports or hobbies, don’t change that because the kids may not be interested in them. One of my step kids had no interest in sports when his mom and I got together, now he’s glued to every website and TV looking for scores.
There Are No Grey Areas.
You’re a parent now, and the same rules apply if they were your offspring. This is another area where it gets confusing for others. You must be stern with them and let them know that you are a parent figure and not their friend. If said child does something that deserves punishment you must put the foot down and dish out what’s deserving. The child is watching and so is the main parent.
If It’s Possible, Get To Know The Other Parent.
In some cases, the other parent is not around then there is no need. But if the other parent is still in their lives then you should be the bigger person and reach out to them. They must know where you stand as you are now a major part of their kid’s life. Not saying you must become best friends but in the long run, it will benefit everyone involved, especially the kids if they can see the adults getting along. It makes for an easier adjustment.
Treat Them As Your Own
If the parent picked you that means he or she has long-term plans for you. You are now a family. Personally, I hate the term “step”, it’s no disrespect to the other parent but you are now their mother or father. Treat them as your own. If you are planning a vacation, they go, if you like sports, see if the kids would like to attend a game. Basically, your life is now theirs. When introducing or talking about them, it’s okay to refer to them as your kids. Because they are now.
Be A Role Model
No matter the age of your new kids they will still look to you for guidance and answers. That’s what they do. It’s your job to offer them sound advice about life. You may not have made the best decisions but you can help lead them on a path so they can make them. I’ve heard parents say they are their kid’s best friend. That’s cool, but your kids already have friends, what they need is a road map. Let them know they can come to you with anything. If you’re not the verbal type, then show them with your actions. Let the main parent know that he or she didn’t make the wrong choice when it came to providing a role model to their kids.