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Stuck in The Friend Zone


Being put in the friend zone by a girl is an extremely frustrating experience for many. After all there’s a big effort to get the relationship going by taking her out for dinner, complimenting her, eager to help when the situation arises and yet then the dread comes when she says “let’s be friends.”

A situation such as this will likely make you feel indignant and annoyed when it comes to dating. By this time it’s known that there’s not a chance of their mind getting changed.

The first clue comes when she makes an effort in conversation to bring up who her romantic interests are. If you have become the go-to person that she looks for advice or distressed, there’s no doubt it’s the friend zone.


By you lending an ear she has made it clear that she isn’t looking for something romantic. Also, pay close attention to what happens if you touch her arm, pulling away means she’s not into you like that and if there’s no return gesture same thing.

Flirt with Her. Most guys wound up as “just friends” with a girl because they don’t know how to flirt. One of the ways you let a woman know that you don’t want to ‘just be friends’ is by touching her and getting physical.

Don’t be too “agreeable”. If you want a friendship treat, her like she’s one of your friends. This means don’t hide your opinions, don’t try too hard to impress her, and don’t compromise your manhood to please her.

Express attraction for her early on This is the exact opposite of what most guys do. Most guys completely hide their sexual attraction for a girl. Then after winding up in friend zone, they finally can’t take it anymore and wind up confessing their feelings for the girl. And they do things like tell her how much they like her, or even worse, that they are in love with her. This never works.

Instead, right from the beginning make it crystal clear that you find her sexually attractive.

Be the “Leader” Many men wind up as “just friends” because they bring nothing to the table. These men look at the girl as the source of entertainment and adventure. Instead of being the leader and taking control of the situation, they “leach” off of her.

It’s actually quite difficult to go from being a friend to a woman to making things more intimate. The major problem is women simply don’t view their male friends as romantic partners. In order to make a woman see you in an intimate way, you have to take drastic measures.

Don’t admit your true feelings. When telling a woman “you like her” it immediately puts her on guard and makes her nervous around you. And when this happens, it’ll make it hard to make things romantic with her.

Don’t let her control your life. The problem with being in the Friends Zone is you’ve let this girl grow too comfortable with you. During this time she has gotten used to you being ready to please her and cater to her needs. Since she knows you’re her emotional doormat, she’ll never view you as a “sexual person”.

Look at other women. In order to get things going with your female friend, you have to trigger her jealous reactions. An easy way to do this is discuss attractive girls and make comments about them when you’re around your friend. This shows that you’re a sexual guy who is not afraid to show what he likes in women. Also this shows that she has competition from other women.

Establish physical contact. If you want her to think of you as a potential dating partner, you have to start a pattern of touching her. This means establishing physical contact when you’re around her. Now when I talk about physical contact, I don’t mean you should grope her. Instead you should act like a buddy who isn’t afraid to touch her. This can include hugging her, giving kisses on the cheek and playfully swatting her.

Make her wonder. What you want to do is send her conflicting signals that show that you’re interested and NOT interested in her. One moment talk about how she’s a great friend. Then you discuss the attributes of other women. At this point, you want to start to let her know that you’re attracted to her. Now you can’t come out and start saying you like her. Instead, you discuss things in a sexual yet funny way.

You may never get the woman you like to like you back as a boyfriend by luck, or magic! You’ve got to do something and change you and the way she sees you. This doesn’t simply happen by accident but with hard work, backbone, and a lot of patience. Take advantage of this opportunity of a lifetime…don’t pass it up.


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Robert D. Cobb
Founder, Publisher and CEO of INSCMagazine. Works have appeared and featured in places such as Forbes, Huffington Post, ESPN and NBC Sports to name a few. Follow me on Twitter at @RobCobb_INSC, email me at [email protected]

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