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Sexual intelligence allows us to reconcile what seems irreconcilable: the blind desire and perspicacity of the mind.

A few years ago psychologists, while studying the rules of selecting partners, gave theories about attracting similarities, opposites, subconscious choosing similar to daddy, to the first love (nostalgia effect), completely different from the previous ones (novelty effect). Love thunder from clear sky fought with prudence and prevention. The wealthy had a better chance, even with ladies with a large dowry.

However, the loss of financial domination dethroned many men from the position of an alpha male. Defeminise, the women’s press and the culture of metropolitan singles educated a new generation of women. Unpredictable, courageous, conscious of their sexuality. There was a definite end to the pretenders of orgasm. Economically independent libertines want someone who arouses immediate desire.

While love is still blind, sex is certainly not anymore. Never before have women manifested their admiration for male sex appeal so openly. In the past they used to send shy signals of consent, now they get up by themselves, they walk on their feet. Hunk is a man ready for erotic consumption – beautiful on the surface and kindled inside. Affluent or successful, he still attracts attention, but if he is not physically attractive, his shares in the matrimonial market are falling sharply. It can count on success, but more so among women looking for a husband-trophy, a trampoline for financial, or social success.

“I don’t like romance. My taste is very special.” At the latest since this film quote from Fifty Shades of Grey, there has been a turnaround in Germany’s bedrooms. Surveys have shown that Germany is Europe’s most boring nation in terms of love and passion. Among the main reasons were: the well-known missionary position, little variety and that apart from the home bed other places were rarely tried out. But it is constantly changing – we can read at German blog about love Liebesdrama.

A hard torso like an orthopaedic mattress and a few frictional movements are no longer enough to be called a super lover. A man’s ideal can be recognized not by the way he finishes, but by the way he starts. What counts is an extensive introductory game. A sense of humour, as always, is a reliable lure, but overused creates a more friendly than erotic atmosphere. More and more women are also disappointed by the old-school male reflex of paying for a meal together. But the charm of a gentleman is not in fashion. Women do not necessarily expect romanticism and holding hands on a wild beach. That’s why an effective pick-up doesn’t stop on a classic with a light naphthalene already flying in. Corporate warriors need stronger stimuli to feel that they are alive. They have ceased to be a victim of the unworthy tendencies of naughty masters. They themselves create situations that the generation of their mothers would judge as offensive to women’s dignity. Sometimes they pay for sex, choose sex tourism because they need a harsh adventure with a breakfast autochthon in dreadlocks. They don’t worry about the transience of the holiday romance; on the contrary, it’s what crawls about them.

Developing sexual intelligence broadens the field of erotic experience by building closeness and commitment. The sense of security does not make everyone feel erotic shivers, but when consciously constructed, it allows to fully relax and experience deep, intense sensations. This good emotional-psychological understanding builds wonderful sex, not the other way round. Eroticism based on an emotional bond does not close our access to instinctive, fresh and surprising sensations. Sexually intelligent, we won’t be indefinitely destructive chasing the ideal in the hope that it will give us not only cosmic orgasm, but also happiness at the family table. All this will provide us with a permanent partner, who at first can be far from the ideal – aesthetic or personal.

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