Relationships

Why Long Distance Relationships are a pain in the a**


If you’ve been in an LDR (Long Distance Relationships) then you know the issues that come with the territory. No matter how you met, either online, through a mutual friend or another way, there came a point when you were given an out. But, since your reading this, it’s pretty obvious you didn’t take it. At least not then.

I was in the same boat. I tried the LDR and it didn’t work for many reasons. Maybe I wasn’t ready or she wasn’t but it pans out after a while. In the beginning, it was great. We would talk every day, text, do the little video message thing but then it started to slowly unwind and before you knew it, we just stopped communicating. Till this day I have no idea what happened. Was it something I said or didn’t do, or was it something on her end that I just stopped liking? Either way, the distance was too great. I was in New York, she was in Detroit.

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There are rules to making an LDR work. Of course, communication is key, as in talking as much as possible but there is one form that often gets ignored. From the beginning when you feel things are getting serious you need to have THAT talk. Not the are you cheating on me talk but the who is moving talk. Texting and video messaging is cool but who will make that move? Are you coming here, am I going there or are we meeting up someplace else and starting a life together? Now, if you’re serious and you’re not sure if the other person is that is the best way to find out.

See, what that does is put the cards on the table. Maybe you have met this person before or if it’s an online thing you never know what situation that person is in. They could be lying to you the entire time, saying they are single when in fact they have a family or a live-in boyfriend/girlfriend. But you mention the possibility of moving and then you get to know where you stand.

If it’s meant to be then it’s meant to be but don’t push the issue too much and scare that person off. I would like to tell you to enjoy the ride but a long distance relationship can get lonely at times and may force even the strongest of people to take drastic measures. Will you be in the wrong? Yes, well, depending on your relationship. Maybe you have an open one but that is where those talks come into play at. It’s cool to be lovey-dovey on the phone but sooner or later the grown-up pants must come and real issues must be discussed.

I failed at mine for whatever reason but I will never say that I won’t give another LDR a chance. Hell, it might be the same person. Communication was our biggest hurdle even with the everyday talking. There were just some things that could have been said that wasn’t. We thought we had it figured out when we were both still trying to find ourselves.

Such is life in a long distance relationship. You must be willing to take the good with the bad. I realize that now, but is it too late?


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Robert D. Cobb
Founder, Publisher and CEO of INSCMagazine. Works have appeared and featured in places such as Forbes, Huffington Post, ESPN and NBC Sports to name a few. Follow me on Twitter at @RobCobb_INSC, email me at [email protected]