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Celebrity: Why Divorce In Hollywood Is The Deepest Cut of All

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We now live in an age where celebrity means more than just being a star on film, television on a sporting arena. No, now we need to know every single detail about the lives of these people, so we can live vicariously or enjoy a little schadenfreude at their expense.

Most of the time nowadays a celebrity marriage lasts about as long Usain Bolt running the 100 meters. This summer has been particularly bad for couples we thought were in love.

It started with a big shocker with Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner deciding to go their separate ways. The two had been married for 10 years and had 3 children together. Of course they spouted all the usual Hollywood B.S. about how they are still “great friends” and will co-parent the kids. I am here to tell you, that NEVER works. How many of you are still great friends with any of your exes?

The next split was Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert. This marriage was only 3 years in the making, and no kids. But with their busy schedules and both of them screwing around on the other, I guess it was only a matter of time.

Then there were a ton of rumors Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith splitting up. Nobody was going to be too shocked if they did split, as the hot rumor about them is that it is just a “beard marriage”, although there is nothing to substantiate the rumors of that.

Then Will Smith came out on Facebook with this rant: “I don’t usually respond to foolishness,” explaining that by doing so it becomes contagious. In the interest of redundant, repetitious, over & over again-ness … Jada and I are NOT GETTING A DIVORCE!!!!!!!!!!:-) I promise you all – if I ever decide to divorce my Queen – I SWEAR I’ll tell you myself!”

After that, Jada simply tweeted: My King has spoken. So there you go, these two appear to be solid.

But then came what to me was the most shocking divorce of them all, when Gwen Stefani ended her 13 marriage with Gavin Rossdale. They cite the usual, “irreconcilable differences” as the cause, which basically means they couldn’t stand each other anymore.

What seemed to be the perfect couple had 3 boys together, and much like Ben and Jen before them, they said they will remain “great friends” and will co-parent the kids.

As I said, Gwen and Gavin were the most shocking break-up until August 4th, which may be the saddest day of all as far as couples splitting up go. This next pair had been together almost 40 years, and although they made an odd pair, EVERYBODY seemed to love them.

That’s right; Kermit and Miss Piggy have decided to call it quits. Kermit tweeted out an official statement about the split:

Here is the official statement from @RealMissPiggy and myself regarding our relationship:



That may be the saddest split of all. I even find it difficult to type. I mean is Miss Piggy gonna end up with Fozzy? Does Kermit turn gay and sleep with Gonzo? I am just scared to see what happens to the Muppets now.

I will tell you the biggest issue with all of this, I mean besides the fact that our need as public to play voyeur has gotten so large no famous people have any privacy any more. Then you add in cell phone camera’s that are everywhere and nobody can sneak around without getting caught by someone.

The real issue is, getting married is too easy and getting divorced is too hard. If it was the opposite, we would have a lot fewer marriages end in divorce. Doesn’t it make sense that in order to get married you should have to take courses together, have a trial run, and jump through hoops to make sure you are supposed to be together?

If it turns out that something went wrong somewhere along the way, it should be easy to get out of it as well. Instead all you have to do is go to Vegas and you can be married in an hour. Meanwhile a divorce ends up taking months, even years, and costs a ton of money. Totally Ridiculous.

As sad as all those Hollywood splits are, I am sure there will be a ton more before the end of the year, but none will affect me as much as Miss Piggy and Kermit!!!

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