Could your sex avoidance be because of one of these things? Although popular media paints men as sex-crazed fiends with a one-track mind, the truth is that many men are entirely the opposite: they are sexually avoidant.
There are a variety of reasons why sexual avoidance could happen, either temporarily or permanently. It is common for men to want to avoid sex at certain times in their lives, and it is totally normal to not feel like having sex every single moment of every day. However, sexual avoidance can be problematic in some circumstances, causing rifts in relationships and suffering for the sexually avoidant man himself.
Why is sexual avoidance a problem?
Sex is a natural, enjoyable part of life, and while being a sex addict could cause its own set of problems, avoiding sex entirely for long periods of time can be problematic. Often, sexually avoidant men experience some sort of underlying problem that causes them to want to shy away from sex—but if the problem was addressed in some way, then they might feel more enthusiastic about sex and more comfortable with seeking out sex with their partners (or seeking out a partner in the first place).
Top 4 causes of sexual avoidance in men
Since sexual avoidance is so prevalent and can be so problematic, it is important to find out what causes it in order to address those causes right at their roots. We have found that there are some common themes among sexually avoidant men. Here are the most common causes of sexual avoidance:
#1 – Stress and fatigue
If you work a stressful job and come home exhausted every day, it really is no shock that you may not feel up to having sex. However, allowing stress to invade your sex life and render it nonexistent can do more harm than good. Your partner may begin to feel unhappy if physical intimacy suffers due to your sexual avoidance, and this could cause your stress to become the relationship’s stress. Having sex can be a great way to relieve stress too, so by avoiding sex when you feel stressed, you could be proverbially shooting yourself in the foot.
#2 – Performance anxiety
Another reason that some men avoid sex is due to performance anxiety. This is exactly what it sounds like: worry that comes up because you are worried about how you will perform in bed. Men who find themselves anxious over whether they will last long enough or whether they will be able to get or maintain an erection may find themselves avoiding sex altogether to avoid those anxious feelings. The Journal of Sexual Medicine published a study in 2016 that found that more than 15% of male participants reported having some form of sexual dysfunction, and that this dysfunction led to more sexual avoidance on their part.
Performance anxiety in men usually leads to premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction. If you experience one of these symptoms take a look at the articles we wrote about performance anxiety and premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction and performance anxiety.
#3 – Body image issues
It comes as no surprise that having a negative body image could impact your sex life. Body image issues are discussed widely in the media, especially when it comes to female bodies, but men can and do suffer from body image issues as well. According to a 2010 study published in the Journal of Sex Research, participants with a poor body image tended to experience sexual avoidance more frequently than their peers with a more positive body image. These findings are nothing new, though. In 1993, the same correlations between poor body image and sexual avoidance were found in a study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior.
#4 – Medication
Many medications come with side effects, and some of these side effects can have an impact on your sexual desire. When you do not feel desire to have sex, you may be more likely to simply avoid sex altogether. However, avoiding sex can cause intimacy problems resulting in strained relationships for partnered men, and it can cause non-partnered men to stay on a path of loneliness. If your medication affects your libido and causes you to avoid sex, consider talking to your prescribing doctor about alternatives.
To sum it up
Sexual avoidance could have a variety of causes, and not all of them can be easily addressed. However, by taking action and tackling the underlying problems that cause the issue—such as treating performance anxiety or addressing body image issues—sexually avoidant men can take the first step toward breaking free of the chains that are holding them back, resulting in happier, more satisfying sex lives.