From helping you to learn more about your body to heightening pleasure during sex, a good sex toy can work out the magic in the bedroom. However, you don’t want to just whip out a dildo in the heat of the moment. Do you?
Sandra, a nurse and relationship expert from My Sex Toy Guide says that introducing a sex toy to your partner can be tricky, even with the known benefits of having one (or a few) around. “Even though the topic isn’t a taboo anymore, introducing the idea can be weird at first.”
There are numerous sex toys for couples, and the right sex toy can dramatically transform your sex life. Using a sex toy opens your world to new possibilities while inspiring conversations on preferences, interests, and fantasies. This new dimension of sex in the relationship keeps things fresh and exciting in the long run.
Sandra holds that “the right sex toys can strengthen your relationship by bringing you closer to each other. The renewed excitement allows partners to open up and learn more about each other.”
As you can see, there’s no doubt that introducing sex toys in a relationship spices up the experience and makes keeps things fresh. However, moving past the ‘talking to your partner’ hurdle can be tricky, especially if your partner isn’t the ‘freaky’ type. Anyway, why continue having vanilla sex when a sex toy might be all that you need? Here are 5 tips to help you talk your partner into using sex toys:
1. Prepare Your Pitch.
Before having the talk, ensure you have all the information about sex toys at your fingertips. After all, your partner’s main reason for being skeptical about the idea might be the fear of the unknown. Right. Do your research and be familiar with the ins and outs of the topic. Having a great level of understanding and knowledge about sex toys gives you the much-needed confidence to table your pitch. It also puts your partner’s mind at ease, knowing that you have everything figured out, and you’re willing to indulge them through the new experience.
Note: While having general knowledge about sex toys is important, make sure you narrow down to the specific sex toy(s) suited for you. Being specific will help further put your partner’s doubts to rest.
2. Choose The Right Time for the Conversation.
While it’s hard to recommend the right time to discuss sex toys in a relationship, it’s not wise to bring it up on the first few dates. Is it? Sandra recommends waiting until you’ve “built a good level of trust and communication. It might take months or a year, who knows?” Also, make sure that you create a sex-positive space with your partner.
Once the time is right, ease the topic into the conversation smoothly by either suggesting that you watch that video you came across. “You can even recommend an exciting sex toy article to your partner,” says Sandra. This allows you to gauge their reaction and, most importantly, galvanize the sex toys’ discussion.
3. Be specific!
As said before, narrowing down to the specific sex toy(s) helps to put your partner’s doubts to rest. Communicate why these ones are the best and how they’ll complement the sex. Remember, it’s about pitching your idea confidently, and how well you do it determines whether it comes to fruition or not. Present all the details, including the boundaries of sex toy use. Make them aware that it’s okay to bail out whenever they feel uncomfortable or weird. After all, that will probably happen the first few times anyway.
If your partner isn’t into the idea at first, don’t push it. The emphasis is for both of you to be comfortable. Leave the subject alone and give them time to process the idea. In the meantime, you can implement other erotic moves like a sensual massage or wearing sexy outfits before sex as your partner warms up to the sex toy idea.
4. Shop Together.
Once your partner is on board, ensure that you shop for the sex toy (s) together. There are numerous couple sex toys to choose from, and involving them is important. It elevates the sense of importance and usefulness in the process. It also helps to build up the anticipation for the sex toy experience.
5. Let them take control.
To avoid your partner seeing the sex toy as a replacement, hand over the remote control and let them control your pleasure. If you’re using an interactive sex toy combo, let them control the stimulation. This way, your partner will slowly open up to the idea without viewing the sex toy as competition.
That’s it! The sex toy topic can be a tricky one, especially if you just started seeing each other. If you’re the convener, start by researching well before picking the right time to have the conversation. Be specific in your pitch, and don’t rush them. Lastly, if your partner is in on it, shop for the sex toy together and let them be in control so that the toy doesn’t come out as competition.