Cohabitation is not negotiable but there will always be confrontation whether in marriage or in other facets of life. Every time you have to talk about money, childcare, and intimacy, or other matters that might be conversational taboos, the way you do it may affect your connection. It is therefore important that such conversations happen without the couples engaging in a fight if they are to fix the marriage and the communication pattern. Here are a number of tips you could use when facing such conversations with sensitivity:
1. Set the Right Environment
As you prepare to engage in a dreaded talk, the first thing you should pay attention to is the context. Both partners should feel comfortable and choose an environment that is neutral for both of you. Make sure that both of you have a small amount of uninterrupted time to talk, no kids, phone ringing or TV in the background etc. Sometimes it has been found that a quiet environment and few people around can lead to having a better conversation.
2. Choose the Right Time
There is nothing as crucial to address sensitive issues in any organization as the time to do it. We should not engage in discussions related to problematic issues while one or both partners are under pressure or have other things on their mind. Instead, wait when both of you will feel calm and ready to listen to each other’s words. This allows you to take into consideration your partners feelings and makes or a healthy approach to the conversation.
3. Use “I” Statements
It is important how you address the issues that you consider to be close to your heart. Because assertive communication does not let our partner off the hook, avoid accusatory “you” messages that tense up your partner (e.g., “You never pay attention to what I say”) in favor of “I” messages that share how you feel and what you need (e.g., “I get frustrated when we discuss our schedules”). This approach is based on emotions and acceptance instead of getting in an adversarial stance.
4. Listen Actively
Reciprocal listening is one of the essential aspects of communication processes. Listen to your partner with attention and be curious about his/her point of view. Bow, keep an eye contact and do not interrupt. Rephrase what they said to make absolutely certain you have not misunderstood what they said. For instance, you could ask, “Therefore, you are complaining of being overburdened by the current schedule we have set.” It can help to de-escalate a situation and move to a more productive discussion and this validation is largely wanted.
5. Stay Calm and Composed
Nothing is emotionally charged like engaging in volatile discussions whenever someone’s bad sides are being addressed. This may not always be easy to do especially if your significant other happens to be in a bad mood. You should breathe deeply, and in case of loss of focus, it is okay to recommend a short break. If you feel your emotions rising, both of you can postpone the conversation until you both are more composed. This practice can avoid getting into some arguments and maintaining a polite conversation going on.
6. Focus on Solutions, Not Blame
Whenever you are processing a contentious communication, plan to find a workable solution rather than focusing on the fault. Explain how both partners can address the problem and come up with a solution. For example, if the topic of discussion is finance, try out various possibilities of creating a budget or about wherein the two of you can compromise on spending than blaming each other. Such an approach also enhances the reinforcement of the team since it creates the togetherness you both need.
7. Agree to Disagree
It is sometimes good to note that you don’t necessarily have to agree on all these issues at any one time. It may be wise to accept a kind of toleration, particularly in the case of strongly held views. Let your partner know you agree to disagree and you will respect their opinion. It can also reduce tension and create the basis for future open dialogue and understanding.
8. Follow Up
Acknowledge each other’s feelings after a brutal confrontation especially with a question like ‘how are we feeling about this’. Think about the positives of the activity and the things that can be changed in the following activity. Mainly continuing the communication denotes that you are willing to continue the conversation and it assists in making the partner realize that both of you are willing to work for marriage recovery.
Conclusion
Minimizing couple conflict during the course of the interactions is very relevant in a marriage relationship which will help fixing your marriage. In fact, with proper context set, proper communication methods employed and through an emphasis on solutions, couples can handle sensitive issues with respect. Also remember that communication is a process of change and every discussion can and should be beneficial in some way. Fortunately, every conflict that you face when trying to resolve issues in marriage can be used to bring in improvement in your relationship if only you shower your mate with the required patience and effort.