Modern men often feel like they need to “put on a brave face,” and they feel they need to project an aura of confidence. Society says men should be stoic and self-assured in all aspects of their lives—including their sex lives.
But inside their minds, behind the mask of perfect masculinity, there are always doubts gnawing.
Not surprisingly, some of the biggest “what if”s inside the average male’s mind are centered around sex. Here we will be discussing 3 of the major sexual concerns that men are preoccupied with, and how those concerns can be addressed.
Is my penis big enough to satisfy her?
Let’s be brutally honest here: size does matter. However, it may not matter in the way you think it does. While many men fret about their penis size potentially being too small, the truth is that often times men with large penises are the ones who experience sex-related problems. It turns out that most women are not satisfied by monstrously large porn-star penises, and circumference size trumps length in terms of importance.
In an Interview for AskMen Dr. Zvi Zuckerman, a certified sex therapist with more than 30 years of professional experience addressed the issue: “The main problem associated with having a large penis is causing your partner pain during intercourse. When the woman’s vaginal opening is narrow, a large penis can cause her pain.”
The truth is, most men are in the average range when it comes to penis size—and the average woman has more of a chance of being sexually satisfied by an average man than by someone whose penis is extremely large (or in rare cases, extremely small).
Can I last long enough in bed?
This is a concern for many men, and with good reason. On average, women take longer to achieve orgasm than men do, so the worry about being able to last long enough to achieve mutual sexual satisfaction is a reasonable one.
Sexual stamina is an important part of sexual satisfaction for both you and her. Without stamina, you can’t savor sex before having an orgasm, and your partner can’t either. This can lead to resentment and create relationship problems if the issue isn’t addressed. It’s a lose-lose situation.
Luckily, there are a number of things you can do to last longer in bed so you can make sure both you and your partner are enjoying sex to the fullest. You should also keep in mind that most women find it easier to achieve orgasm during foreplay rather than during intercourse. So it’s important to remember to take the time and invest in foreplay if you truly care about satisfying your partner. Regardless, having control over your sexual stamina can be an empowering thing, and can lead to a more fulfilling sex life for both you and your partner.
Will she have an orgasm?
Here is another question men are constantly asking themselves. Many men view their ability to bring their partner to orgasm during sex as the ultimate measure of whether they are “doing it right.” However, when asking yourself about whether or not you can help your partner achieve orgasm when you have sex, you also need to bear in mind a few facts about women and orgasm:
Not all women are orgasmic
Some women are unable to have an orgasm, either by themselves or with a partner. This may be due to physical reasons or psychological ones, but the key thing is that it is not because of something you did or did not do.
Many women cannot have an orgasm from penetration alone
A lot of women can have an orgasm, but they aren’t able to have an orgasm solely from penetration. However, they can come when stimulated in other ways. For example, stimulating the clitoris before or during penetration can help ensure that your partner achieves orgasm too.
Women are different from one another
Different women like different things, so it’s important to talk to your partner about what gets them off. The thing you did that used to work wonders with one partner might not work with the next one. The most important thing when it comes to sex is communication. Don’t be too shy to ask her what she likes. Some guidance could make a world of difference.
Communication is crucial
The bottom line is that sex is supposed to be fun! Try not to be overly obsessed with worries, and really ask yourself if there’s a reason for these negative thoughts that run through your head. You might be surprised to find out that some of your biggest worries have no basis in reality. And even if you do experience a true sexual issue, most dysfunctions can be treated.
Also remember that communication is crucial to having a good sex life. You and your partner need to talk so you can address these or any other sex-related concerns that either of you may have. If you and your partner communicate about your desires and needs, you can take the first step toward improving you and your partner’s sexual enjoyment and transforming your current sex life into a great sex life.