Today Steven Spielberg announced to execs at Universal that he is moving forward on a remake of the 1975 blockbuster film, that quite literally scared audiences out of the water for generations, Jaws.
A source at the studio relayed the information by way of a phone call this morning during which we spoke about the project at some length. Spielberg reportedly feels that CGI technology has come far enough to allow for a very realistic representation of the shark. It was also stated that the production would be much less problematic than it was with the various mechanical sharks that were dubbed “Bruce” and also “the great white turds”.
A surprising choice for director has been named, as it appears that Spielberg vehemently campaigned for Kevin Smith to take on the directorial duties. Apparently Spielberg has noticed the way Smith gushes over his work, having used many references to Jaws in his films. One example that was specifically mentioned was the bar scene in Chasing Amy, where Banky Edwards and Alyssa Jones swapped stories about sex injuries in the fashion that Robert Shaw and Richard Dreyfuss faced off, bragging about their character’s various injuries.
Another interesting idea Spielberg is interested in playing around with, is the idea of an internal monologue for the shark. He claimed that it would be scarier for the audience if the shark didn’t seem mindless and had motives that were clearly spelled out by way of a voice over. Borrowing another of Smiths ideas, he feels that Ben Affleck should provide the voice over for the shark’s internal monologue. Smith had previously stated in the Q&A film, An Evening With Kevin Smith, that he felt that Affleck could play anything including the shark in Jaws, if they were to ever make a fifth movie in the series.
Frankly I’m not a fan of remakes, and to quote Affleck’s character Holden McNiel in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, “I don’t think I’m alone in the world in imagining this flick may be the worst idea since Greedo shooting first.” Hopefully this project will meet with very firm resistance and will not get made.
Happy April Fools! #AprilFools
Let me get this straight…
An internal monologue. Ben Affleck as the shark’s inner voice. Kevin Smith as the director. Sigh…I’m seriously going to cry now. Salty, salty tears. That all has to be a very, very bad April Fool’s joke. It has to be.