Sometimes it seems as if we go through life from one test to another, an endless litany of anxious moments where, if we aren’t careful, we’ll be found lacking. This sort of thing isn’t exactly conducive to a happy, contented life. It’s enough to drive anyone to seek an escape, and some people find theirs in illicit substances.
Somewhat ironically, there’s a test for this scenario, too. Employers don’t want to hire people who take drugs, for obvious reasons. If this sounds familiar and you’re wondering how to pass a hair follicle drug test, you’re in the right place, so keep reading!
How to Pass a Hair Follicle Drug Test
Employers know that a lot of people take drugs, but that isn’t such an issue so long as they’re capable, leave their habit at home, and keep their nose to the grindstone while they’re at work. Unfortunately, some people are sticklers for the rules or would rather not use their discretion when it comes to these things, so sometimes it’s best to play it safe.
Put yourself in the shoes of an employer. The last thing you want is to waste your time with an employee who can’t do their job, for whatever reason. It makes perfect sense for them to do their best in shaking the wheat from the chaff wherever possible, and this is where drug testing comes into play.
It’s not possible to test for diligence and a proper attitude, but it is possible to test for opiates and other drug-related metabolites. Many different substances show up in hair follicle test results, meaning, depending on the substance found, your boss will be able to gauge the likelihood of your substance of choice coming between you and doing your job.
Most of the time it’s nothing personal, but stereotypes exist for a reason and there’s no blaming someone if they would rather not employ someone whose results come back positive for drug use. Time is money, and there’s no sense in betting on a lame horse when there are better alternatives in the stable.
Fortunately, there are ways around testing positive if you’re an entrepreneurial type. Beating a drug test takes some diligent research, some dedication, and the desire not to give up in the face of adversity. These are all attributes that employers look for, whether or not you enjoy smoking the odd joint or two, so in a certain sense, you may even be doing them a favor!
Understanding the Test
To beat the test, you have to understand how it works, and what they’re looking for. The substances hair follicle drug tests can test for are numerous. It’s a good idea to learn which are likely to show up, especially to make sure you’re not worrying for no reason.
The drugs the most common tests screen for are benzodiazepines, cannabis, cocaine (including crack), ecstasy, ketamine, and opiates. Drugs designed to help addicts wean themselves off of opiates also show up in the results, so there’s no free pass for methadone users.
If you’re worrying about your hallucinogen use, these aren’t typically tested for. It’s unlikely to lose your chance at your dream job because you went on an ayahuasca retreat, for example, or are a devout follower of Terence McKenna. Hydrocodone, inhalants, and anabolic steroids are also not usually a cause for concern, so knock yourself out.
As for the test itself, it’s not as easy to cheat as you might hope. Human beings are notoriously tricky to deal with, and they’ve designed the test with your slippery nature in mind. The designers of the test are well aware of all its points of failure and have taken steps to make it as difficult as possible to beat.
However, difficult is not the same as impossible, or we would never have landed on the moon. Cheating the test isn’t rocket science, but you do have to understand the basics of how it works or you may not give appropriate attention to the process, however you decide to go about it.
How It Works
When you take a drug, the effects aren’t localized to any specific part of your body, including your brain. Your chosen substance eventually finds its way into your bloodstream, leaving many signs of drug use in its wake. From this point onwards, tiny particles of the substance travel throughout your entire body, permeating your cells wherever they find themselves.
These drug metabolites eventually end up within the cells that cause hair growth. As hair follicles develop, they pass into the keratin that makes up your hair and are locked inside. This means each strand is effectively a map of every substance you’ve taken while it was growing.
Due to how this process develops, the telltale drug metabolites exist throughout the hair itself, not just on the surface. For this reason, the test only concerns itself with the core of the hair follicle itself, meaning you can’t simply wash your hair to remove the evidence.
The only way to get rid of these metabolites is to bleach your hair thoroughly to remove toxins, or to purchase a specially formulated hair cleanse or detox kit. A hair detox shampoo for drug test works in much the same way as bleaching does, without being so blatantly obvious.
While bleached hair may no longer contain the drug metabolites the test is designed to look for, the fact you’ve bleached your hair before being tested may raise a few eyebrows. If you decide to go this route, remember to at least re-dye your hair before being tested for a plausible excuse if questioned.
Practice Your Poker Face
Once you’ve learned how to pass a hair follicle drug test, all you can do is act innocent. If the planets align and you’re not caught out, try not to look too surprised when you receive your results.
Otherwise, congratulations are in order! One last piece of advice, however, if you have a mind to celebrate your success, it might be prudent to remember that these tests are usually recurring. Unless you want to bleach your hair again, choose your poison wisely.
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