The Inscriber Magazine Reacts To The Lyrics Of To Be A Man Mega Remix

Today I came across the song “To Be A Man Mega Remix” by DAX which also features Atlus, Ben Becker, The Mediary, Hailey Dayton, Brutha Rick, Phix, Shané Fraenkel, Skywalker DaVinci, ThaGreatWhite, and Kaveman Brown. Now The Inscriber Magazine is going to react to the incredible lyrics from this amazing song.

The opening lyrics which are also the chorus go “I can’t hide myself, I don’t expect you to understand, I just hope I can explain. What it’s like to be a man. It’s a lonely road, and they don’t care ’bout what you know. It’s not ’bout how you feel. But what you provide inside that home.”

For me the only thing that needs to get changed here is to open it should start with I can hide myself instead of can’t. Also, one would hope that the person you end up with is also the one that you are able to be the most vulnerable with.

When Atlus comes in with the lyrics of “Too much pressure on my shoulders, it gets tough to be. The person bringing in the bread and be the lover that you need. For self-care, yeah I had to let go. I’d be lying if I told you that it never takes a toll on my mind. I need someone to save me. But I have to be the one who’s saving you. When you’re exhausted I’m a shoulder where you mend. Gotta stay strong, what can I do when.”

This seems more like what our parents were advised of or believed what a man is. Fortunately I believe we have evolved when it comes to marriage or for that matter not getting married because communication in relationships have truly become a main point of emphasis. Look at any dating site, it is usually no.1 or no.2 when it comes to important. If you are willing to sacrifice your own mental well-being to keep your partner happy, it is not a shock why there are so many divorces.

You cannot be everything to someone. There are limitations to what you can do to help.

Ben Becker comes in with “I know a lotta men don’t feel the same but I don’t feel ashamed. Letting the water fall when my heart’s ablaze. Daddy taught me that was how to put a fire out. So when I’m hurting I don’t mind to cry my eyes out. I only have a few examples of a man in my life. And only one who made perfection life-like so I try. To remember two words when I don’t know what to do. Don’t forget ‘Jesus wept’ and brother so can you.”

Almost lyrical perfection. The ending should instead go don’t forget brother you can weep.

First off The Mediary has an incredible voice and he sings “they said it’s all in my head and I guess that makes sense. ‘Cause everything I feel, I keep in ’cause it’s different for men. We talk about our feelings, we’re called oversensitive. We’re asked to strike a balance, it doesn’t make sense so we bottle everything up in our minds. We grow cold, dark, alone as we slowly die. Ya ever wonder why it’s mostly men who commit suicide? We figure why not, we’re already dead inside.”

Will have to disagree with the final verse. There are too many variables for when it comes to the reason. Overall impressive lyrics.

Now the song shows a response from a woman’s perspective. Hailey Dayton then sings “you picked me up when I was broken. You pieced together words that were not spoken. You found a way to see me as I was even when the world hasn’t shown you the same love. You’re expected to do everything on your own. Provide and then hide all the feelings that you hold, but your heart is deserving, now show. I see you for who you are, I hope that you know.”

In this instance it shows that outdated notion that the man plays all roles. He makes sure that the person he loves is emotionally strong while holding on to his feelings and never sharing them. Thankfully in her response she wants him to know he is not alone.

Lyrics can show the dangerous type of thinking of men and Brutha Rick provides a perfect example of this with “I know we all got decisions to make, but it seems that my decisions cause division, I hate this pride. I break inside but I cannot cry, ‘Cause all I wanna do is provide. I was made for this, I’m a father of seven, my oldest is twenty, my youngest eleven. And they all gotta eat so I bury my feelings and stand on my feet. Like they told me, gotta be grown they told me. You’re on your own they told me, but we’re not alone. He showed me.”

The last lyrics though showed his change of heart with “he showed me.” Yet one has to wonder who is he referring to? It would have been better state that therapy helped him realize that he was not alone.

Phish sings “yeah, patiently waiting for God to show me signs I need. I’m not the man for the job, all the things I can’t be. Put all my feelings aside. I think that I’ll be better off when I’m not alive. Fought through depression for years and I tried to hide it. Almost put pressure and pulled it, but I decided to give it all that I can. But this what it’s like to be a man.”

Another example of the old way thinking. That somehow God is going to fix what is broken, yet it does not happen. So how should these lyrics change? Should go yeah, patiently waiting for God to show me signs I need, yet nothing ever happens. It is on me to get the help, so I found someone I can open up to, be vulnerable with, so I can battle this depression and not get me to the point where I feel the pressure to end it all.

Skywalker Davinci is incredible and his lyrics are “As a man if you show your emotions they take you for weak and this ain’t nothing new. Teaching my son to be mentally strong and prepare for the battle, he ain’t even two. Being a father is lit but I gotta admit that sometimes I don’t know what to do. Provide and protect was the name of the game. I was playing for you and you know that it’s true. Unconditional love ain’t reality but you can’t take a look from my view. A lotta my days were blooping and dogging me so I fought and you didn’t have a clue. When I had it we had it together but now we divided, your colors are true. I shouldn’t have to ask for no help if you knew I was struggling, I woulda did it for you.”

Goes back to the comment about the chorus though. He is hiding himself and expects her to know that he needs help because he is struggling. For many, unless you directly tell them that you need help they are not going to know. It is the reason that many are so surprised when the unfortunate happens. Hopefully though with the way relationships have evolved this is no longer a norm.

Papa Roach illustrates this point perfectly in their song titled help “did someone turn the lights out? Or is it just another dark cloud in my head? Cause I’m cut deep, my heart won’t beat. Deep down low it’s killing me. If I wanna scratch out yesterday. I’ve got so much I need to say. (I’ve got so much I need to say). I think I need help. Cause I’m drowning in myself. It’s sinking in, I can’t pretend. That I ain’t been through hell. I think I need help.”

With Shané Fraenkel she sings “I’m sorry, I never knew, all the things that you go through. I never meant to put your pain aside. Didn’t mean to make you need to hide. These demons in your head, they’ll tell you you’re less than. But I’m here to tell you that you’re more than perfect. And don’t let the voices make you think you’re worthless. ‘Cause you’re worth it, you’ve got this.”

A good response to how a man may feel. Yet it takes a lot more to help someone with depression. Obviously hearing that you are not worthless feels good, still it is not something that will last. The ending lyrics should have included we will get you the help that you need, to open up about how you are feeling and to get you to a better place mentally.

ThaGreatWhite has lyrics that many who have suffered from depression can relate to. He sings “there’s just a lot I wanna say. To be a man requires you to hide the pain, you find yourself, inside a hole you can’t get out, even though you wanna shout. ‘Cause the pain is just unbearable (oh no no). I just wanna cry and be given a hug. And be told everything will be okay. I have a family that depends on me, oh.”

My only response to this is what is stopping you from getting that hug for saying what you need to say? There is no requirement for a man to hide the pain just an outdated notion of what a certain group of people believe a man should be. Thankfully we are at a time when this type of thinking is slowly eroding away.

KaveMan Brown sings “Look, as a man they expect you to be strong, as someone to lean on no matter what you dealing with. I just lost a couple friends to drugs and when I woke up in the morning man I really wasn’t feeling it. But I gotta try to bottle the pain but when they took my son away, I had to try to find a will to live. Putting five whole years at a job then I got laid off and the news had me feeling sick. I been drowning in the deep end, anybody wanna give me a reason? I don’t even try to bother with a social life ’cause I would rather be alone on the weekends.
Just chilling with my demons, and I just to suppress the depression, in need of a blessing ’cause I’m really ’bout to lose it all. Just remember that I tried to be a man when you lose me y’all and I’m gone.”

When I first heard this part of the song it reminded me House yelling that “life is pain! I wake every morning I’m pain. I go to work in pain. You know how many times I just wanted to give up? How many times I thought of ending it?”

Yet this also brings me back to an amazing quote from Scrubs when Kelso gave the best speech and lines in its history. He said “life is scary, get used to it. There are no magical fixes, it’s all up to you. So get up off your keester and get out of here and go start doing the work. When he got asked a question about it being too hard. The response was “nothing in this world worth having comes easy.”

So judging from “To Be A Man” and its message, in order to get what you need and to have a functioning family, communication, the ability to ask for help, and to continue to evolve from the old-fashioned way of thinking about men.

If you haven’t heard the song take a listen.