Are you tired of swiping left and right on dating apps, hoping to find “the one”? Do you struggle to maintain a healthy and meaningful relationship in today’s world? Well, you’re not alone.
In fact, many of us have experienced the same challenges and uncertainties when it comes to matters of the heart. More often than not, we end up feeling overwhelmed and unsure when it comes to navigating relationships. And to make matters worse, social pressures and unrealistic expectations have made finding lasting love a daunting task.
These factors make it harder for us to connect with others emotionally. And that’s when we may need some help.
Stephanie Gilbert, a renowned licensed marriage and family therapist, believes that successful relationships are not just about finding someone who makes you happy; they are an ongoing journey of patience, support, and open communication. Here are some expert insights from Stephanie on the key to finding meaningful connections:
Picture credits: Kate Haus, photographer from Los Angeles
Start By Getting To Know Yourself
According to Stephanie, it’s essential to start by knowing yourself before looking for a potential partner. “Often, we spend time thinking about who the person is that we might want to date,” says Stephanie. “That could be useful when looking for potential mates on a dating app, but in the beginning, we need to think about ourselves.”
This involves listing qualities like kindness, humor, or communication skills and understanding how we want others to perceive our thoughts and emotions. Stephanie recommends prioritizing self-discovery by figuring out who we are before building relationships with others. This way, we can enter into relationships with greater self-awareness and confidence.
Be Aware Of Why You Want To Be In A Relationship
It’s important to take a step back and think about why we want a relationship in the first place. Stephanie says, “Many people enter into relationships to fill a void they feel within themselves.” This is a recipe for disaster, as their partner can never be the cure-all they are looking for.
It’s important to assess your motives and intentions for wanting a relationship. Figure out why you are looking for companionship. To feel seen and appreciated? To find someone who will make you feel whole? Or do you see potential in the relationship for growth? After answering all the questions, be honest about whether you need a date or other forms of support to fulfill those needs.
Keep Expectations Realistic; Think Of The Issues That Are Bound To Rise
As Stephanie puts it, “No one is perfect, and no relationship is perfect.” When it comes to being in a relationship, we want to imagine and keep our focus on all the good things that come from being in a relationship, but we often forget the inevitable issues.
It’s important to remember that there will be disagreements at some point in the relationship. It’s how we choose to handle them that makes all the difference. Stephanie suggests individuals ask themselves these three questions when facing issues in a relationship.
- Who would you be comfortable disagreeing with?
- Who do you want to take care of you when you’re sick?
- Who would you take care of if they were sick?
“It’s easy to imagine yourself living happily with the person of your dreams, but what happens when reality sets in is what counts,” says Stephanie.
Once you’re clear on who you are, why you want a relationship, and what you can bring to the table in terms of expectations and values, you’re in a good position to figure out who is suitable for you and what exactly you are looking for.
With the right mindset and intentions, Stephanie believes we can all find meaningful connections. As it is often said, finding love starts from the inside and radiates outward—so start by getting to know yourself better!
Being a Beck Institute CBT Certified Clinician, Stephanie Gilbert is among the top authorities in her field. She received her training and licensure in California under the most rigorous licensing standards. With her private practice, Stephanie Gilbert and Associates, she uses her knowledge of telepsychology to aid clients all over the world in developing and maintaining healthy relationships.
With the help of Stephanie’s wisdom and expertise, we now have the tools to create a meaningful connection with another person. So put Stephanie’s advice into action and set out on your path to a happy relationship right away.
For more helpful advice, check out her blog or follow her on Instagram