“This isn’t really how I expected my life to turn out,” you may have found yourself muttering as you created yet another boring spreadsheet for your boss or made what felt like the millionth coffee for a cranky customer. “Surely I can do better than this” you might have whispered as you looked around at a party and realized you had little in common with anyone there or faced another weekend full of obligations you didn’t want any part of. You can change your life, even if it isn’t easy to do so, and the steps below can help you.
Know What You Want
The first step is knowing what it is that you truly want. Without getting to the bottom of this, there are two dangers. One is that you turn away from aspects of your life that aren’t the problem. The other is that you embrace a future for yourself that other people want for you instead of what you want.
You can avoid both by being honest with yourself and perhaps talking to others as well, such as trusted friends and family members, or a professional such as a coach or a therapist. Give yourself time as well; you don’t have to figure all this out in a few weeks or months. Move slowly, and don’t be afraid to change course when you need to.
Embrace Challenges
People often end up in lives they feel they didn’t and wouldn’t have chosen for themselves because they opt for a frictionless existence. They fall into jobs or relationships instead of making deliberate choices and perhaps going for something that would be more difficult at first but more fulfilling in the long run. It can be easy to look at an obstacle and conclude that its existence means you should give up, but many obstacles can be overcome.
If you’re hoping for a career change, one of the biggest obstacles can be getting a college degree. School is expensive, and even if you can borrow money, you might be worried about being saddled with loans when you graduate. However, another option is to go online and search for scholarships, and you can apply online as well, and in some cases, these can cover the entire cost of your degree. Whatever the challenge is that you’re facing, look for solutions rather than getting discouraged.
Learn to Brainstorm
Brainstorming can be a great skill to cultivate whether you’re at the beginning of this journey or you’ve been living your best life for a while. When you brainstorm, you don’t judge the ideas that come to you. You can brainstorm by making a list, but some people like to get more creative.
They might get a big piece of paper and make what is sometimes called a mind map, where you start with a circle and draw other circles of ideas that spin off from that, continuing to do this with more ideas and circles. This can appeal to more visual thinkers. Tossing around ideas with a friend can be another way to go about this. Brainstorming can help keep a sense of possibility alive in your life.
Reevaluate
It’s always a good idea to periodically review and reevaluate what you’re doing and whether it’s still fulfilling you. You may want to add on some new things, such as learning a new skill, picking up a new hobby or expanding your social circle, or you may find that some things that were satisfying to you at first no longer are. Reevaluation gives you the chance to pivot to something new when the old ways of doing things aren’t working for you any longer.