Most people are familiar with the song ‘We Didn’t Start The Fire’ by Billy Joel. However, I bet you were unaware that you can replace the words with the quarterbacks from the Cleveland Browns, and it makes complete sense. (You actually run out of room, if Cody Kessler starts this year.) Observe.
Verse
Cliff Lewis, Otto Graham, then there is George Ratterman
Babe Parilli, Tom O’Connell, and Milit Plum
Len Dawson Bowl MVP, started one with the Brownies
Jim Ninowiski, Frank Ryan
Verse
Gary Lane, Bill Nelsen, Mike Phipps, Don Gault
Brian Sipe, Will Cureton, and Terry Luck
Dave Mays started 4, Forrest Gregg shown the door
List of every Browns QB, we haven’t left the 70s
Chorus
We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning since the Browns were turning
We didn’t start the fire
No we didn’t light it, but we tried to fight it
Verse
Paul McDonald ’82, players strike cut down a few
Gary Danielson, then followed Bernie Kosar
Jeff Christensen replacement guy, Don Strock played 2 games and tried
Mike Pagel played a couple, Schottenheimer’s done
Mike Tomczak from OSU, Todd Philcox from Syracuse
Vinny Testaverde cause he played for everyone
Mark Rypien and Eric Zeier, Cleveland now can finally cheer
The Browns are off to Baltimore, don’t have to watch this mess no more
Chorus
We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning since the Browns were turning
We didn’t start the fire
No we didn’t light it, but we tried to fight it
Bridge
Lost their team in ’95, cursed Modell’s name to the skies
New stadium lights up the sky, got the Browns in ‘99
Baltimore is doing fine, won Super Bowl thirty-five
Even though the Browns still try, they cannot get a QB right
Verse
First pick Tim Couch, Ty Detmer backed up the slouch
Eagles coach Doug Pederson, shared some reps with Spergon Wynn
Kelly Holcomb in ’02, Middle Tennessee State U
Luke McCown in ’04, Jeff Garcia started more
Chorus
We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning since the Browns were turning
We didn’t start the fire
No we didn’t light it, but we tried to fight it
Verse
Trent Dilfer played in ’05, backed up by Charlie Frye
Pro Bowler Derek Anderson, first round bust Brady Quinn
Ken Dorsey started 3, can’t forget Bruce Gradkowski
Panther legend Jake Delhomme, Seneca Wallace ISU cyclone
Colt McCoy the famed Longhorn, when was Brandon Weeden born?
Thad Lewis, Jason Campbell, Brian Hoyer too
Johnny Football flamed out in style, Austin Davis, John McCown
RGIII can’t stay healthy, this is a catastrophe
Chorus
We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning since the Browns were turning
We didn’t start the fire
But when we are gone
It will still burn on and on and on…
Regrettably, I cannot claim credit for this ingenuity and hilarity. It belongs to an anonymous poster on Reddit. To you, sir, or ma’am, I tip my hat.