A break up can be painful and leave you stuck with memories that now evoke anger and regrets when you think about your ex. Your life seems to have lost meaning and you don’t feel like dragging yourself out of your bed. During such a time you might second -guess if you will ever love again and this can either make you bitter or sad.
Unfortunately, this is an experience that most men go through at some point in their lives. A part of your growth and maturity as a man will depend on how you deal with break ups because like most things in life, there’s a right way and a wrong way to do it. So today, we’ll be discussing the right way to get over an ex girlfriend and truly move on.
Stop all communications with your girlfriend
Breaking up with your ex-girlfriend doesn’t mean that you don’t have any feelings for her. You were once deeply in love which makes it hard to break that bond.
If you were still contacting her trying to apologize over the breakup then you’re wrong. You will get more bitter and desperate. Stop any kind of communication and avoid places that you know you might bump into each other.
Also, stop stalking her on Instagram (you know you are) because it will bring memories that will only haunt you more. Give yourself some distance and space so that you can deal with the situation.
DO NOT REACH OUT TO HER – especially if she’s the one that broke it off. If you reach out to her after she left you, you will look weak, and women don’t like weak men. I know in the movies you may see the guy conjure up some elaborate scheme or apology, maybe even write her a poem and then she comes running back to him but don’t believe it. In real life situations, this usually does more harm than good for the relationship (or lack thereof) and your psyche.
Find someone you can talk about your situation
When you are in such a situation you might feel depressed and lonely when you think about your ex-girlfriend.
Therefore, you need to identify a close friend or a family member who will listen to you. During such a time you require minimal advice, judge and criticism. You need someone who will appreciate and listen to you because it has therapeutic impacts. You need someone who understands your situation and the more you talk about it the sooner you get over it.
Engage in physical activities
The best thing you can do is to identify something that will serve as a distraction. First, you should avoid being alone because depression is a common side effect of heartbreaks. Therefore, Surround yourself with people who will not laugh at you but they will help you get over the situation.
Engage in physical and outdoor activities like hiking, doing some exercise or sport that you are passionate about. It doesn’t matter what the activity is, just do something and get moving. The increased activity will help to stimulate endorphins which are feel good hormones.
Reflect on the relationship
Reflecting on the relationship is very essential to vent off grief and negative emotions.
Every relationship has some lessons in it. Take time and reflect on what you gained in that relationship so that you can appreciate the fact that your ex-girlfriend might have taught you something.
This will greatly help in making resolutions that will make you a better person in the next relationship. You will start building a new exciting life and this time you are more prepared and prudent. It is important to accept our faults and move on. You might have given your best in that relationship but it didn’t materialize. Don’t lose hope but keep your focus and ambitions on the right path.
Accept she is gone
Most men find it hard to let go of their girlfriends. They hope that her new relationship might not work so that she can come back.
However, if you keep giving yourself false expectation you will find it hard to heal. It is important to accept that she is gone so that you can start focusing on the most important things.
Life is not all about Romance, there is a better life beyond your ex-girlfriend. You need to set aside what is haunting you and divert the energy and attention to what will make you successful in the future (and women love successful men so it’s a win-win for you).
Regretting that she is gone won’t help but it will destroy you if you keep focusing on the past.
Don’t rush the process
I know you are hurt and you want to brush off the pain from your past relationship but you’re not The Terminator. You might be tempted to move on for you to feel satisfied and possibly you are on a revenge mission. That will tear you because you have not made peace with yourself. You need to be patient and give yourself time. No wound heals instantly.
Lastly, happiness heals it all. Find happiness within you and you will never regret what happened. Focus on your career and being physically active and you will not only forget about her, but improve yourself as a man at the same time.