One of the most common questions we get asked is:
“I think I’m stuck in a rut – what can I do to turn things around and start moving forward?”
We all have these moments – where we feel like we’re not getting anywhere. There’s frustration, confusion and maybe even anger and resentment because you don’t seem to be making any progress. Like you’re banging your head against a brick wall over and over again. And it sucks! What do you do? How do you break through those negative thought patterns? Or those feelings of doubt or fear? Here are some strategies for busting out of that cycle as quickly as possible so you can start moving forward…
But first, here’s the breakdown of the common ways people get stuck in negative thought patterns (and how to overcome them)…
1. You’re not setting clear goals or you don’t have a plan to achieve your goal, so you lack direction and clarity. Plus, you fall for distractions along the way.
2. You let other people’s opinions influence your choices and decisions AND/OR you use other people as a barometer for success or failure (e.g.: “I want to be successful like X person”) – this is called using social comparison. It makes no sense though because everyone is different! And each of us comes from a unique background with unique opportunities and obstacles – so it’s impossible to compare apples with apples! Plus, these comparisons put unfair pressure on you and can lead to failure says Peter DeCaprio.
3. You’re not getting enough sleep, which makes it harder to think clearly and rationally, you’re less motivated and productive, and you’re more likely to feel negative emotions. This spirals into a downward spiral of feeling tired/stressed, then making excuses or just giving up because you don’t have the motivation or energy for it!
4. You use drugs or alcohol as a crutch to cope with your problems – this makes things worse in the long run because they damage your body & mind (hello addiction!) Plus when you sober up, all those problems are still there…
5. You focus too much on what other people say about you in social media (or otherwise) & it gets you down. You’re essentially ignoring all the good things that are happening in your life to focus on the negative.
6. You’re trying too hard to be perfect/achieving super high standards, which mean 100% of the time… in every single thing you do! Plus you get resentful at yourself for not being perfect, when really nobody is! Nobody can achieve perfection because it doesn’t exist 🙁
7. You feel like a failure even though there is no definition of what success actually looks like. So if you fail once, is it total obliteration? Or does it mean something specific? Plus there’s always going to be someone who has done better than you – even if they only achieved medium success by their definition…so you’re always going to feel like you didn’t make it.
8. You can’t stand the heat (of criticism) so you avoid feedback at all costs. This causes resentment, because there’s no way for you to learn or grow or change your situation, without hearing both sides of the story.
9. You lack accountability – nobody is holding you to account and asking “What went wrong? What could we do differently next time?” This is a HUGE reason why people fail to achieve their goals. Without accountability, there is no motivation to do anything differently.
10. You don’t know how to deal with these feelings of stress and overwhelm, so you end up eating sugary snacks or comfort foods that make you feel worse! Not only does this add extra weight, but your gut bacteria can actually affect the way your brain works & cause mood swings. So not only are you getting fatter and feeling more stressed – it’s emotionally draining too!
Conclusion by Peter DeCaprio:
Negative thought patterns and thinking styles can severely affect your ability to achieve goals and succeed in life. If you’re feeling negative, it’s time to take action by setting clear goals, doing something about those problems or obstacles, using positive mental imagery (you know those dreams ), getting enough sleep, making yourself accountable so you don’t give up halfway through & trying not to compare yourself with other people.