Everyone gets offended, but some get stuck in this state for a long time. The question is why? And whether it’s possible to get rid of hypervigilance?
Our ancestors believed that resentment was a manifestation of pride. And the saying about the offended arose for a reason. They say you’re angry at the whole world, you think that everyone offends you – bring barrels of water. However, psychologists believe that it’s not just pride.
5 Causes of Perpetual Dissatisfaction
- Childhood traumas. Everything begins in childhood. And resentment including. If parents don’t explain to the child the motives for their actions, and are stingy on affection, the heir could feel helpless and resentful. And this feeling remained with him for life.
- A tendency to take everything personally. Some people are so reactive to what is happening, that they see the offense even where it isn’t. Any little thing inflated to the scale of an elephant and sincerely believed that those around them constantly mocked. As a rule, it happens because of insecurity.
- Fatigue, chronic stress, depression. Against this background, all negative emotions intensify.
- Physiological problems: hormonal changes (for example, during pregnancy, menopause, or before the critical days), low iron levels and even fluctuations in sugar levels – all these can increase irritability and resentfulness.
- Inner infantilism: the person has not learned how to convince, hold a punch, to look for a compromise. It’s easier for him to pout, as in childhood.
Attention: The Danger
Experts believe that getting stuck in such a state is dangerous. Here are just some of the “side effects” of resentfulness:
- Life will be presented in a black color: friends are villains, the husband (wife) is a monster, the boss is a monster. And even Tonybet casino games don’t satisfy such a person. At times, you may begin to feel guilty, and it will further increase the feeling of hopelessness.
- You may develop health problems. People who “store” in the soul of resentment, “store” and anger. They constantly mentally return to the traumatic situation: prove, argue, deal with the offender. And they spend a huge amount of energy. And this energy is not creative, but destructive because negative emotions “eat away” the body from the inside and can lead to the development of ulcers, bronchial asthma, obesity (food helps drown out mental pain and calm down), hypertension. And even cause a heart attack or stroke.
- You can get lonely. Constantly resenting everyone and everything, you repel people from you. The deeper you “sink” in the resentment, the less willing to look for ways to approach you.
How to Get Rid of the Offense
Learn to let go of the offense! It’s for your own good and a better mental health. Try, for example, the following techniques:
- Finding an “alibi” for the offender. If you think that someone spoke unflatteringly about you, think about it, maybe it only seems to you? Clearly, only one explanation comes to mind: “He wanted to hurt me. But look for others. The more options you come up with, the less you want to be offended.
- The diary of Pythagoras. According to legend, it was Pythagoras who encouraged his students to talk about the events of the day and give them an emotional assessment. And this is great psychotherapy! You describe bad events (and your negative emotions: anger, resentment, irritation) – you free yourself from inner negativity. After all, anger, poured out on paper, loses its force. Describing the good (eg, the deeds for which you can praise yourself) – strengthen self-confidence. And this is important for the prevention of resentment.
- The Wall technique. If you insult someone, imagine that you fenced off from the offender a wall through which hurtful words don’t fly. Such a technique will help keep cool and not to say nasty things in response.
- Funny pictures. Suppose the boss scolds you for something undeservedly. You naturally want to slam the door and leave. But imagine that the boss does something ridiculous. For example, he sat on the nose of a butterfly. Presenting such a picture, you will internally smile and not take hurtful words to heart. And the boss the next day for sure will cool down.