Almost two years ago The Inscriber Magazine featured Citizen Soldier as a band on the rise. Thanks to songs like “I’m Not Okay” and “Would Anyone Care” and powerful lyrics, that was an easy call to make. Yet now it is time to react to their most recent album ICU, which was released on December 1. Which once again takes on mental health.
“Afterlife”
The song starts out heavy and the lyrics ask an important towards the end of the song. Which was “If I should die before I wake. Did I make peace or a mistake?”
“Comparison”
In this age of social media, it is easy for anybody to start comparing themselves to others. An example is this “don’t try to help me ’cause I just don’t care what the price is. I’mma measure my worth in calories and sizes. What you call a meal, I call an existential crisis. So cue the crisis. Perception’s distorted, my habits are horrid. The thoughts in my head just keep getting more morbid. If I cheat then I fail, but the diets make me hate myself. Either way I’m still in hell.”
“Broken Like Me”
Takes a dive in the notion that when someone is struggling with their mental health that no one will understand what they are going through.
“Alone With Myself”
At times being alone with oneself is incredibly difficult, so being left alone is not an option. Doesn’t this speak volumes? “Feel like a burden asking you to stay. But I’ve been living in the darkest place. Feel like a burden asking you to stay, but will you stay? Don’t leave me alone, don’t leave me alone. Don’t leave me alone here with myself.”
“My Own Miracle”
More relatable lyrics from Citizen Soldier especially with how the song ends. “I had to love me when nobody cared. And be the family that never was there. Had to have hope when I didn’t feel spiritual. Had to be my own, my own miracle.”
“Reason to Live”
Enough said with these lyrics “So if you’re feeling like dying. No tears left for crying. Alone at the edge of a cliff. If you’re so sick of fighting. The monsters you’re hiding. And wondering if you would be missed. You’re not the only one that’s feeling like this. If you’re hearing this song, it’s a gift.”
“Therapy”
A song that shows the dangers of going to those closest to you whether a family member or friend. Too busy to write what you are feeling off and not show empathy to what you are feeling. Which shows why finding a therapist is imporant. Perfectly put with this “I need someone to hurt with me. I need someone to feel my pain, and not just walk away. I don’t need someone to preach to me.I just need a little empathy.”
“Wired for Worthless”
When perfectionism becomes dangerous. “Every act of kindness, every word of praise. Makes the system malfunction. Only hear the negative ’cause each mistake. Is what feeds the combustion.”
“Without You”
Low self-esteem and the reliance on someone else. How that can cause problems especially if that said person takes advantage of that trauma you went through. The more you need them, the more dangerous it becomes.
There’s no peace. Without you, without you. So bury me. If you have to, if you have to. I know you’re killing me keeping me alive. But the pain you kill is more than worth the price. So there’s no peace. Without you, without you.”
“Talk Me Down”
Loneliness and despair and the need for someone to listen and to hear you. “I’m on the edge of a crisis. But why should I make a scene? Is there any reason to fight this. If nobody’s losing sleep? My life’s a ledge right now. Nobody knows about. There’s no-one to talk me down.”
“Black Hole Brain”
Is about trying to not relive a traumatic event. “That I buried in this black hole brain. At home in outer space. Die or dissociate. Because forgetting is the only place I’m safe.”
“Give up to Ghosts”
The focus with this song shows what happens when you decide to face your trauma. “Even if I tremble. Even if I cry. It’s time I face my demons. And look them in the eye. Even if I panic. Break down and fall apart. I refuse to be a slave to all the scars. They’re only scary when they’re kept inside the dark.”
“Made by Misery”
Persevering through your own trauma and becoming a strong person as a result. “I’ve learned that lonely roads. Can lеad to hearts of gold. Yeah, I was made. Madе by misery.”
“Good Enough for God”
These lyrics are spot on “I’ve had my darkest thoughts, trying to get to heaven. Twisted my mind in knots, trying to be forgiven. Counting all the reasons I could go to hell, but can’t think of even one why I should love myself ’cause. I’ve never felt more lost, tryin’ to be good enough for God. Good enough for God.”
“Strong for Somebody Else”
How it is dangerous for someone to stay strong for somebody else when they are struggling themselves. “My personal hell, I’ll bury it, bury it. Weight of the world, I’ll carry it, carry it. Pile it all on, I’ve gotta be strong. For somebody, for somebody. Put my pain in a pill, I’ll swallow it, swallow it. Too numb to feel, I’m hollow, I’m hollow. I have to hold on, I’ve gotta be strong. For somebody, for somebody. Somebody else.
“ICU”
It’s the title track of the album and this one needs to go on repeat. One of the better lyrics is this “a million prayers, not even one reply. But don’t give up ’cause there’s another side. And you still have a lot of songs to write.”
“You Are Enough”
A reminder to those who are sensitive and that are hard on themselves more than they are when it comes to others. “So kind, except to yourself. You’re anything but forgiving. You bleed emotion, so devoted to what people say. Give second chances left and right, and only take the blame. Don’t change a single thing ’cause there is nothing wrong with you. What you feel now, don’t make it truth. When you’re a little messed up, when you’re a little unwell. And nobody understands that you are going through hell. Right here, like this, right now. You are enough.”
Overall Citizen Soldier gets a 5/5 star review. The album is a must listen.