It’s almost that time. You know, the one holiday, that deep down inside that we all dread and avoid like the plague. It’s the one that either makes you into either the second coming of Leo DiCaprio in the eyes of your significant other, or makes you want to retreat to your proverbial couch in your mancave and play Fortnite, Madden or Overwatch.
Anything to avoid…V-Day. Or as it is officially called, Valentine’s Day.
If you’ve made it to V-Day with your lovely lady, then you are officially official, committed, locked down, in a relationship. It IS defined. No debating or saying that you are “hanging out”, “kinda talking” or whatever Millennial-age slang for pre-dating without officially declaring your union.
As a man, I get it. It is in every red-blooded man’s DNA to always keep his options open and never fully commit, unless you know that you’ve found “The One”.
It is what it is, sorry ladies.
For those who are happily in a world of unadulterated bliss, love and raw, primal PETA-alarming like sex every night, don’t worry! I got you, as The Robb has some tips and tricks on how to take your already lovey-dovy ‘ship to porn-level type of bed-shaking, headboard-breaking passion.
Spoil her rotten by buying her a gift card to her favorite lingerie shop: All women — almost ALL women — love looking and feeling sexy. They ESPECIALLY love dressing up for their man.
As someone who has had the pleasure and honor of interviewing some of the hottest and sexiest women on earth here at this three-time award-winning digital magazine for Glamour Girl!, one thing that gets women OFF is popping on the hottest, sexiest and dirtiest set of lace thongs, g-strings—or nothing at all.
If you want to unleash your girl’s inner sex goddess and have her call you daddy in bed, drop a couple of hundit on top-line brands such as Adore Me!, American Eagle’s Aerie line, Frederick’s of Hollywood and of course the proverbial godmother of all sexy undergarments, Victoria’s Secret.
If you’re really feeling her and want to help her in unlocking her inner freak, you could also go online to take her to a sex shop such as Australian-based Femplay.
Cook her favorite meal! You may have washboard abs, the fanciest new car, the smoothest social media game and Instagram-worthy dashing looks, but NOTHING get’s a woman’s juices going more than a man who can cook.
Real quick, check a woman’s reaction to when you say that you love to—or can—cook.
Watch how quickly her voice inflection changes, her proverbial antennae goes from zero to SPIDER-SENSE tingling DEF-CON 5, after saying the words, “I love to cook, what do you like to eat?”
Don’t be shocked—and you can thank me later—for when your phone starts blowing up like the New York Stock exchange closing at 30,000 and your notifications look like the next outbreak of small pox due to that hottie you were gaming on, hitting you up for dinner.
Not to sound like Captain Obvious, but it’s not the food she wants, it’s you. And you’re the main course, playa!
Now, while your skills may be Chef Boyardee-level, be sure to hit up the Food Network, YouTube and learn the difference between a pint and a quart and how to properly spice and marinate a steak, and you’re rolling like Gordon Ramsey, big man!
Expect to work off those calories in bed tho!
Surprise her with a spa day or full-body massage: As certain as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, women LOVE to be pampered. I will say this again, women LOVE to be pampered. In a world where they are judged constantly by their looks and appearance, their wardrobe and fashion dissected more than that frog in biology class in high school and hated on by jealous rivals on social media, women have it tough in the era of Trump.
To help ease away the seemingly non-stop drama of trolls, haters on Instagram and her crazy ex baby daddy, how about splurging on a full day at her favorite spa resort for a full body message.
As I said above, women LOVE to be pampered and spoiled. Make her feel like a queen in springing some dough on her fave getaway for her to unplug, decompress and have all of that unnecessary tension of Becky hooking up with Nick or whatever random side dude is trying to steal your bae, and if you play your cards right, she will give you a happy ending you’ll never forget.