When guys ask me this question the first thought in my head goes to the actual verbiage of the question.
I feel like the question should be why do GIRLS like assholes and blow off nice guys. In this day and age, it’s more prevalent to say that women are more head strong, communicative and less likely to deal with guys that are emotionally unavailable.
Girls tend to like the bad boy type because they bring to the table something that is very attractive to women which is an outgoing personality, good looks and confident attitude. Lets stay on the subject though, Its a proven fact that women like men who do not agree with everything they say and also have more of a jerk type personality.
Men and women both like “the chase” more then they like to be chased, and lets be realistic here, the nice boys tend to chase as soon as you meet them. Studies show that women like men that are more dominant, have charisma, creativity, high energy and confidence.
These can all be traits of an asshole if low agreeableness comes into play. As a hard to get guy will never commit to a woman and it makes a woman want to chase him even more “The Challenge”.
You may see this as being shallow, but studies have proven this over and over again, and its within the genetics of women.
Sorry guys we cannot help it! Here is a question for you, is he really an asshole?
My honest opinion of an asshole would never be of a guy who breaks it off with a girl or a guy who just won’t settle down with someone, as long as honesty is always present and cheating isn’t involved. Women have a tendency to say “Oh he’s an asshole, he broke up with me” but is he really an asshole for being honest?
Would you really rather him be with you and unhappy? An asshole is the guy that leads you on to believe he likes you or loves you and is never truly honest about his feelings.
Do these guys really exist or is it a false assumption made by a woman. Not all bad boys are assholes, most just won’t settle, they may see something short term with you but nothing long term and as long as they are open and honest, then what happens next within your situation is currently up to you. If you willingly know that the guy will not settle and you decide to sleep with him and he doesn’t change his mind… who’s really the asshole?
A blurb for the nice guys out there- Stay nice, stay humble and keep your grind on. Eventually you are going to find someone who fits your needs. You really don’t want the girl who is continually chasing the bad guys.
Remember you are what you attract so if someone seems really nice and is consistently chasing someone who is a complete asshole- there is a connection between the two and you may find out 6 months down the road that she’s a complete head case and you need to run for the road. Keep in mind that if you are falling for a girl, you need to give her space, keep your daily routine the same and don’t allow change to take place too soon.
These will allow things to build between the two of you and will have her keeping interest a lot longer then laying everything out on the table at once.
This isn’t pretending to be something you are not, its telling you to keep being exactly who you were before you met.
Question of the column: Do the nice guys always finish last though? From my own experience as I’ve grown and evolved and been through my fair share of heartbreaks, I’ve noticed that the bad boy types still interest me, however, if a nice guy gives me a bit of a chase, some space and makes me laugh I will completely cut off a bad boy crush for the satisfaction of knowing that my mental health will be at peace with a more submissive type “Good Guy”.
Keep your heads high good guys because you will meet the right girl one day.
Author Bio: A self-made entrepreneur, model and businesswoman, Philadelphia-born Britt Ogonofski is the Founder and CEO of Tampa-based travel lifestyle brand, Borgiott. Founded in 2015, Brittany studied at Sports Management Worldwide with a concentration on analytics and scouting football.
Previously in a 11-year relationship before being single for the last three years, Brittany has been published in seven magazines–including INSC–and enjoys giving back to the community.
Social Media Links: Facebook: @brittogbmodel | Twitter: @ Brittogbmodel | Instagram: @brittogbmodel and @borgiott