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Deadpool 2: How the sequel should start

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People said an R-rated superhero film would not work. They said that it would cut out too much of the potential audience, and simply not succeed at the level of a PG-13 film. But then came Deadpool. And oh man did Ryan Reynolds, and that crew shut those people up with authority. Deadpool was not only one of the best, most entertaining, and downright hilarious films of 2016, but it also broke many box office records. With all of its success, Fox immediately announced a sequel to the film, which will drop January 12, 2018.

So if you enjoyed seeing Deadpool cursing up a storm and cracking jokes left and right earlier this year, all while beating people up, you are in luck. With such a highly anticipated sequel, in which the main character frequently breaks the fourth wall, there will be a lot of people looking forward to getting to see round two. That means the opening scene of the new film needs to knock it out of the park, as it will help set the tone for the new installment.

So this opening scene should contain a few elements that made the original one so successful. Things like breaking the fourth wall, Deadpool having fun and just doing something humorous, cursing and of course, Dopinder. So here is the idea I would like to pitch for the opening scene for Deadpool 2.

We open with a blank screen, as we hear Wade Wilson’s voice. He is talking about how he “cannot wait to cut you up tonight. Some say slicing and dicing are my specialty”. Then we get the visual, and it is Deadpool, in full costume, holding tomatoes in a grocery store. He then looks into the camera and says something to the effect of, “Oh hi. You’re back! Don’t mind me. I’m just getting some food so I can cook up a nice meal for Vanessa tonight. Trying to be all romantic so I can get lucky tonight”.

He then proceeds to walk through the store, dancing to whatever music they have played in the store’s loud speaker. But the music takes over, and Deadpool just goes crazy jamming out as he goes up and down the aisles. Picture something to the effect of Star-Lord dancing his way to the orb towards the beginning of Guardians of the Galaxy, but much more outrageous. Deadpool starts picking up random foods, uses a cucumber as a fake microphone, and eventually ends up running into a large display. He takes the whole display down as the song ends, in which he simply replies, “Oops,” and walks away.

Finally, he finds his way to the cleaning aisle. He is looking at the dish soap and picks up two. In one hand he has Ajax, and the other hand Palmolive. He looks between the two several times before saying, “{Insert expletive here} you Francis!” as he chucks the Ajax over his shoulder. He then turns to the camera and says, “For those of you {Insert expletive here} who do not understand what the hell I am talking about because you did not see my first movie, let me catch you up.” We then get a short recap of footage from Deadpool, with Wade Wilson narrating it of course.

At the conclusion of the recap, Deadpool heads to check out from the grocery store. As he gets to the cash register, he picks up a magazine with Ryan Reynolds on the cover and proclaims, “Damn that’s a fine looking piece of man.” He proceeds to throw the magazine on the belt and finishes at the register. As he walks outside he pops the trunk of a taxi, throws his groceries in, and hops in. There we have Dopinder at the wheel, and Deadpool shouts, “Onward Dopinder!” before getting some fun exchanges between the two. Then we proceed to the rest of the film.

So, what do you think? How would you like Deadpool 2 to open? Tell us in the comments!

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Robert D. Cobb
Founder, Publisher and CEO of INSCMagazine. Works have appeared and featured in places such as Forbes, Huffington Post, ESPN and NBC Sports to name a few. Follow me on Twitter at @RobCobb_INSC, email me at [email protected]