We’re often told that opposites attract, which ultimately encourages people to be tolerant or at least look beyond certain differences and find a mutually-satisfying middle ground. Maybe someone has different political opinions, different religious upbringings, or perhaps worse, a different favorite football team.
Being able to work through these noticeable differences can indicate a strong relationship. Likewise, if these views become too tightly-held over time or one person’s view too important to compromise, the whole thing may fall apart.
But what about the opposite? What about two people who have a lot in common? Interestingly, historical letters of note have shown that this combination, which looks good on paper, doesn’t always work out because both parties are too similar, leading to conflict.
Think of A-list actors who come together: they’re both great at their craft but aren’t necessarily compatible with each other in the long run. They may have similar creativity, drive, and passion, but these traits aren’t always sustainable for long-term love connections. This can be seen in certain letters of note between both parties. Sometimes they’re romantic, sometimes they’re threatening, sometimes they’re just strange.
The following interesting letters of note from creative artists who were couples show that ‘artistic temperament’ can certainly add some volatility to relationships.
- John Keats and Fanny Brawne. Being a poet and in love sounds great, but doesn’t always work out so well in the real world. Just ask the poet Keats who felt that the girl next door was his Muse. She was nice and seemed to enjoy his company, but his letters of note elevated her position much higher, using such phrasing as “I am forgetful of everything but seeing you again” or “you have absorbed me.” He did give her an engagement ring but felt he was too poor to marry and give her the good life he felt she deserved. Unfortunately, he died at 25 and she married another man, so we never found out if her love would have been returned or she would have found a way to ask for more space.
- Virginia Woolf and Vita Sackville-West. Though Virginia Woolf was married for years, she did have a variety of same-sex affairs, including Vita Sackville-West. Though the physical affair ran its course after a few years, they did carry on a regular correspondence for about two decades. Initially, Vita was seen as the aggressor, and there were reports she sometimes portrayed herself as a man. Their letters suggested special about both of them, including Vita scolding Virginia for forcing her to abandon her defensiveness and stand-offishness around people. She also said that if Virginia didn’t believe Vita truly missed her, she was “a long-eared owl and ass.”
- Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor. Speaking of A-list actors who may have been too compatible, the tale of these two is downright epic. They were married to others, then to each other, then divorced, then re-married. Then divorced. They were all the early tabloids talked about in the 1960s and 1970s. They had public spats and disputes and both of them were larger than life. Richard Burton’s letters of note were especially interesting. They were certainly articulate but also had a bit of menace to them. For instance, in one, he expressed hope that she would someday find a nice bloke to treat her well. But if this same bloke didn’t treat her as the puritanical lady she was, underneath the veneer of raucous language, Richard would make sure he would regret it by attacking him with a hammer.