There are plenty of strange New Jersey laws and old regulations still on the books in various municipalities that might surprise you. Put your pickles in the fridge and dust off your petticoats while we do our best to keep you on the right side of the law while you’re in the “Liberty and Prosperity” state.

Proper Pickle Protocol

Trenton has such a stormy relationship with pickles that it inspired Dick Hyman to write a book titled The Trenton Pickle Ordinance and Other Bonehead Legislation. Pickle management is such an issue in Trenton that they have not one, but two ordinances pertaining to this popular food. If you’ve recently purchased a condo and you want to have a celebratory get-together on a Sunday, better do your homework first. Specifically, check to see if condo insurance in New Jersey will protect you from claims for infractions like serving pickles on Sundays. Or better yet, just don’t serve pickles on Sundays in Trenton.

Furthermore, if you find that your pickles are past the expiration date, don’t even think about throwing them out on the street. It is unclear whether it’s legal to throw a perfectly edible, non-expired pickle on the street, but should such a travesty occur, one can only hope that justice prevails.

Vanity Plate Denied

If you’re hosting a party and need to make a quick dash to a liquor store Lawrenceville, NJ, we can only hope you do so responsibly and have not imbibed before getting behind the wheel. Driving drunk is not only illegal and could endanger other motorists, pedestrians, wildlife, mailboxes, and yourself, but could also prevent you from having a vanity license plate if you are convicted of a DUI. Especially if your plate said “SAFTY1ST”.

Friendly, but Not Too Friendly

What compassionate grownup hasn’t gone to a zoo and been saddened by the plight of the animals trapped inside? Apparently, the friendly citizens of Manville have taken their compassion one step further, empathizing with zoo animals’ lack of ability to blow some steam off at the end of a stressful day. Well, it could have been empathy or more likely, an ill-advised selfie, but there is now a law that specifically prohibits offering whiskey or cigarettes to zoo animals. This also proves that people can and will smuggle whiskey into almost anywhere.

Don’t Leave Home Without It

You’ve gotten out the leashes, potty bags, and treats and you’re almost ready to enjoy a beautiful day walking your dog, but not so fast: if you’re a female planning on walking your dog down Broad Street in Elizabeth, don’t set foot on that sidewalk without wearing a petticoat. Your dog may also need one as well.

In Cresskill, cats must wear bells or other kinds of noisemakers to warn birds of their approach. In Bernards Township, don’t walk out the door without channeling your best Ned Flanders greeting; their town has been designated Frown-Free. If you have a bad day here, you’ll have to grin all the way home then scream into your closet to avoid getting slapped with a misdemeanor.

No Slurping Allowed?

There are rumors that an unknown municipality has banned soup slurping; after investigating, we were unable to find which municipality cared this deeply about table etiquette, but we did discover that the State of New Jersey issued a ruling on the matter. In a stunning victory for slurpers everywhere, buried within Title 36, “Legal Holidays” is statute 36:2-278, which designates the third weekend in October as “Shuck, Sip, and Slurp Weekend” to promote the State’s seafood and bar scene.

As long as it’s not soup, slurp’s on, however; if you do get arrested for making unacceptable noises while enjoying your next bowl of Campbell’s, there are plenty of New Jersey Attorneys on hand to get your soup privileges restored.

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