Relationships can be extremely difficult to travail. There’s a careful balancing act that occurs between meeting somebody halfway on their wants and needs and avoiding the proverbial poo (I like saying poo) that you can’t help but step into from time to time. Unlike the George W. Bush regime, however, conflict avoidance is actually possible…to a point.
While you cannot escape arguments as a couple you can leapfrog huge issues in favor of minor skirmishes that can be resolved quickly with a little Mr. Clean and some elbow grease.
Glad you asked.
1. Open communication…and often.
I know it sounds elementary, my Dear Watson, but seriously, most beefs could be cooked and eaten if people were proactive in talking about the problems instead of letting them fester. This is advice I myself should be able to use more often, but as with everything in life, most things are easier said than done. Like divorce.
The hardest thing in the world to do is just listen to somebody share their feelings without wanting to defend anything you think is aimed at you. The problem lies in the fact that as soon as you prepare the defense, you’ve stopped listening. You’re Def Jam. No Foxxy Brown. My Uncle Getlow used to say, “God gave you two ears and one mouth so you’d listen twice as much as you talked. So shut the f*** up, youngsta.” RIP Uncle Getlow.
In a similar vein…
3. Don’t take things personal…when possible.
This is hard to do since, well, in the midst of an argument with you, EVERYTHING seems personal. Some people just have their things that annoy them. You’re not annoying them, that thing you’re doing is annoying them. Of course, you are doing it so it kind of is about you, but its more about that thing, not so much you. Ya unnastand? I suck at this one. Mostly because I like taking things personal. I think I’m just a masochist.
4. Evaluate where you are
People in relationships don’t often reflect on where they are in relationships, mostly because they’re in a relationship which is often a goal AND a step for people. People are fun. When you find yourself getting aggravated about simple things, its time to evaluate why and what it means. It also means its time to do #1. Not pee, silly!
5. Love me or leave me alone.
My psychic often tells me that the most important part of the relationship is focusing on the love that exists. She SUCKS as a psychic but often has good advice. If you can’t remember why you love somebody, it’s time to let it go, let it flow. With great love comes great adventure…or responsibility…or something. She also said that and she sucks at quotes.
Either way, those 5 means of conflict resolutioning (I failed Math) could go a long way towards keeping the love alive.
Besides, hip-hop is dead. What’s left?
Author’s Bio: Alex Wise is a blog contributor and featured publisher for Loveawake.com – a place for single people to connect based on their common interests. He works with single men and women who feel like life is passing them by and helps them to get clear on what they really want and finally make their dreams happen.
Through his tips and advice, Alex helps his clients simplify the process of taking back their power and create an extraordinary life. During the day, Alex also works as a coach in the online marketing industry. Follow him on the company site or on Facebook and Twitter