You have gotten her contact information and even introduced yourself, and you are sure she has saved your number. And for the past few days, you have been texting her, and you are sure she enjoys the conversation.
That is the power of texting: it can get you into a great conversation.
The only limitation with texts is that you never get the real reaction. It would be nicer if you were beside her, perhaps holding her hand as you enjoy her smiles.
Also, texting is limited to only a few words, which may not include everything you want to say. You can never send a long message in a textual conversation because then it becomes boring.
So, as much as texting is fun, it should not be your aim. Consider setting up a date with her.
However, asking someone out is never easy. It can be a very daunting process if you don’t know what to do.
Besides, your heart may be racing too much just thinking about it. You may find yourself saying every day that it’s your day. Perhaps you attend the physics class together, and you want to take advantage of one of your lessons by texting her over lunch break.
Such things can happen to anyone. Many people think that it’s only teenagers who experience such nervousness, but that is never true.
Adults can experience the same.
Luckily, you have this ‘how to text a girl guide‘ to help you. We want to help you understand that you are not alone and that everything is possible.
Most girls say that they prefer to be asked in person, which is the right thing to do anyway. But as stated above, many men don’t have the courage.
For this reason, they would be more successful over the phone.
Here, we will teach you the etiquette. The following 5 ways to ask someone out via text have all the ingredients you need to get started.
Note also that this guide can help girls who are confident enough to take the first step.
1. Think of a good idea for the date
Before you arrange for a date, there are several things you need to set straight. The most important one is that you should establish how well you know the person.
If you know the person well, then this should not be hard. There are more chances that she will say yes to the idea.
In other words, you need a concrete plan for the date. This will make you more decisive, instead of guessing things.
A plan is better than just saying, “Let’s hang out,” or “what do you want to do.” This makes you look weak, as if you don’t know what you want from the relationship.
A good idea here is to establish whether you have something in common or not. So, instead of being all over the place, you will easily come up with topics to discuss, which keeps things moving.
Here are some ideas for a date:
Similar tastes in music
Everyone loves some kind of music. They say that music is the only language that everyone understands, even if they don’t know it very well.
In this case, think about a concert that may be coming up. It would be great if you invited her to the next concert or show based on the music she loves.
Or perhaps the girl enjoys some movie. If so, consider what is showing next in cinemas close to you.
The idea is finding something common that both of you can do and enjoy. Music and movies are two everyday things that bring many people together.
Once you have invited her, it will be easier to share as you talk about what may be happening in the show. You will also find it convenient to order some drinks for the both of you.
A date is all about having fun with the person you like. Therefore, no one said it always has to be in a restaurant.
Invite her for food/a drink
I have put food and drink together because it depends on how the girl is feeling. If she is hungry, she will want the food, but if she is not, then she will go for a drink.
Or perhaps you just want to grab some ice-cream. This can also be a great way of capturing her attention.
Do you enjoy cooking? Then why not just invite her for a home dinner. You can use this opportunity to let her know about your plans, what you want to achieve in life.
If she can come to your house, it would be much fun because you can watch a movie together.
Note that dates don’t necessarily have to involve food, although this is what many people prefer. Consider going for a hike together, or going for some bowling.
Just invite her to something that you share an interest in. And if you don’t know what she likes, go for general ideas that most people like.
Activities that involve talking and knowing each other
Dating is all about getting to know the other person. If you are looking for them to open up, then every idea you come up with has to revolve around them.
Remember, it’s not about you but about them. Hence, try to think about activities that involve talking and getting to know each other.
In this case, movies may not be such a good idea because then you will only be sitting in silence and might not get a chance to talk about anything.
But this does not mean you should not go to the movies. If you must, take her out for dinner first, or to an ice-cream parlor, and then let the movies crown your evening.
There are many other ideas you can come up with for a great date. Consider a picnic, for instance. Get her somewhere on the banks of your local river and enjoy the breeze as you talk about the things that interest you both.
The main point to take here is that the other person must be comfortable with your idea. And that is why we said you should always put the other person first.
2. Send the opening text
We all know that it would be really nice to ask someone out in person. You can talk about a lot more things this way than via text.
But texting is easier for everyone. It’s easier sometimes talking to someone if you are not face-to-face.
Texting helps you arrange your ideas better.
But then, texting may not be as easy as it sounds too. It could even be harder than you might think.
And the most difficult part of texting is sending the opening text. You want to find words that will trigger a good response, which doesn’t come out very easily.
But don’t worry. There are several good ideas that will get you a response.
First, make sure she has saved your contact. If you are meeting for the first time, remind her who you are.
The text should have three important things:
- Your name
- Reason for texting
You can frame your text like this “Hi, this Jesse, we met the other day. Save my number.”
This text should always be short and to the point. Also, she does not have to respond.
But if she responds, it’s even better for you. It does not mean you have to reply to the next text at this stage, either.
If she is kind enough to reply, she can say something like ‘Ok. Thank you (so and so). Glad to meet you too.’
For those who are sure the lady has their number, send her a text that provokes a response. Say something like, ‘Hey Sandra, how are you doing today?’
This is a simple question that anyone can respond to, even if they don’t know you well yet.
And if you have seen her recently, you can come up with an excuse to stir a conversation based on that meeting’s events. Perhaps you met at a party. Send her something like, “Hey, how was the rest of your night after (place).”
Or, if you attend a class together, begin with something like, “How is Monday test-taking you?”
Timing is very important here. Make sure she responds to your previous text first before adding another. It will not be good to flood her with too many texts.
The secret here is to be patient.
3. Introduce the date
Now that you have gotten the conversation underway, it is time to get to the next level – asking her out. However, it would be best if you were extra careful here.
Do not ask her for the date before understanding her schedule. You want to know her plans for the weekend or week.
If she says she is free at that time, let her know your intentions. The way you frame the question is also very crucial as it dictates the answer you will likely get.
“How would you like to accompany me in such and such activity then?” A polite text will always get you good responses, and that is all you are looking for.
Here are some rules to observe when sending the dating message:
Don’t wait too long
Many people make the mistake of waiting too long before asking the other person for the date. You want to make your aim known as soon as possible.
Waiting too long will soon feel awkward or unexpected. If you want to have a long conversation, do so when you have already made the date request.
Short and simple
One thing about texting is that you must always keep the texts as short as possible. You don’t need long messages as they become boring to the reader.
Consider something like “Interested in a cup of coffee?” This question is straightforward and triggers an answer like “Yea, sure. Why not?”
Have a place and time in mind
Please do not make it too general. “Would you like to watch a movie with me sometime?” This is a general question that will not get you anywhere.
You should have found out which movies she likes. Then, if there is one showing at your local cinema at a known time, invite her for the same.
She may not be good at the activity you are offering. It would therefore be good if you gave options for other activities.
4. Be confident
It is normal to get nervous sometimes when asking someone out on a date via text. But it would help if you did not let this get in the way of you having a perfect conversation.
Do not wait too long before making a move: someone else might take the opportunity from you. The best way to take the step is understanding that you may either get a yes or a no from her.
Don’t let the fear of rejection create a wall. You will never know what the other person is thinking until you take the initial step.
It’s better to take the chance and know at once than wait and regret it. Be confident and take the first step.
It may be hard mustering up the courage, but you will now know where the other person stands. This means you have nothing to lose.
5. Respond to her answers quickly
If you started the conversation, it means you have the time to finish it. Therefore, be ready to respond to her answer as soon as possible – anticipate what she might say and get ready with feedback.
You already have in mind where and when you want to go. So, once you both agree, you can end the conversation with something like, “Great, see you on Friday evening!”
Do not continue too long after this, as it may seem you are coming on too strong. Or just let her take the conversation where she wants it to go.
Now that you have secured the date let the girl know that you are excited about it. This way, she will feel special and wait for the day in great anticipation.
She may decline the offer too. Do not take this with hard feelings and end the conversation. Keep her engaged because you want her to like you.