Part of growing up is accepting that things don’t always have a happy ending, even if we desperately want them to. And never is that more true than when it comes to the ending of a significant relationship – one that has produced children.
Whatever the reasons behind the break up, there is now a bigger issue at stake. The future happiness and well-being of your children can be severely compromised by the trauma of a parental break-up, and the demands of trying to minimize the impact on your kids and support them often right when you are experiencing considerable emotional suffering yourself can push you to the limit.
Navigating any break-up is tricky, but in the interests of those you love best, it’s wise to try and set personal feelings to one side and create the foundations for a good co-parenting relationship with your ex-partner.
Set Out Your Intentions
With most break-ups, you never have to see your former partner again if you don’t want to, but when you have children together, that simply isn’t an option. Having loved someone previously doesn’t mean that they have to become your enemy once the love is gone. You must make a conscious agreement to become co-parents and both to put the well-being and happiness of your little people above your own.
This can be hard if things have ended badly and you feel a range of negative emotions towards that person. You may have felt powerless about the break-up, especially if it was unexpected, but you can control the way that you parent together and agree that you won’t let bitterness intrude on your child’s life.
Be Clear With The Kids
One of the hardest things for children to process when their parents split is the uncertainty around the practicalities of their everyday life. Work out roughly what the living arrangements and routines are before speaking to your children, so that you’re ready to answer most of the questions they might have and offer reassurance. It’s okay to be honest if you don’t have all the answers yet, but let them know that you and their other parent love them and have their best interests at heart, and tell them that won’t ever change
Get Help From An Expert
If there are complex situations, such as a lot of joint assets or even a business to divide, even the most amicable break-up can be in danger of rapidly turning sour. Recruiting the right support is vital to keep things on track and prevent your split affecting the relationship you both have with your children. Schoenberg Family Law Group Reviews show that they have a strong track record of helping to navigate cases involving a complex division of assets, and a swift conclusion to any such issues ensures that you can both focus on establishing your new co-parenting dynamic.
Remember To Be Kind
This can be one of the hardest things to achieve, especially if you feel wronged by your previous love, but remember to try and be kind in your words and actions. However tempting, never badmouth your ex in front of your kids – it simply isn’t fair to color their view of a parent like that. They have the right to their own relationship with both parents. And also remember to be kind to yourself. Take some time for self-care and accept all the support that is offered from family and friends. If you can, take some time away from the kids to process your own feelings. Time is an amazing healer, so try to focus on the fact that, whatever happened, ultimately you got your children out of the relationship – the greatest gift of all.