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Dating: How To Handle Being Ghosted This Summer


May 24, 2019

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For those who don’t know what ghosting is, I want to first give you a formal meaning of it.

Ghosting: The practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.

Yes, it sucks. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it’s a really crappy thing that happens, but it happens and it could potentially continue to happen until you find the right person for you.

Unfortunately, some people are extremely immature and cannot communicate properly, and it is 100 percent not your fault at all. Since it’s inevitable that you will at some point in your single life be ghosted, I want to help you get through these situations to try and avoid it from continuing to happen.

Rule number one: Do not get ghosted again by that same person. I’m going to repeat that again. DO NOT get ghosted again by the same person. Fool me once, shame on you, fool be twice shame on me, right?

If someone decides to ghost you, you need to delete, block, setup some kind of alarm in your head to not make plans with them again. This person is now untrustworthy and literally has no interest in your wellbeing. People who ghost are immature and there is no going around that. You can’t help it from happening once, but you can help to control it from happening again.

Rule number two: Change their name in your phone. Sometimes, I keep the name but put a big red X next to their name or a ghost emoji next to their name. If it is a hurtful ghost, I’ll delete their name all together and just put a red X in its place, because to me they aren’t associated with me, so if they text or call again I know not to answer it. I’ve also flat out blocked them if they really were hurtful.

Rule number three: Speak your mind. If you want to tell them how you feel, then do so! if you don’t want to tell them how you feel, but feel very angry about the situation, write it down on a piece of paper then throw it away. Do not keep your feelings bottled up because that could potentially lead to an explosion of words and you don’t want to waste anymore invested time or feelings into someone who can’t communicate.

Rule number four: Understand that it is not you. This is huge. If you have plans with someone, or are talking to someone and they disappear, it is not your fault. Nothing that you could do would change the fact that someone cannot communicate properly, that’s an inside job and its something that they need to learn. Maybe maturity wise they just aren’t there yet. You don’t need this in your life. They are not the one.

Rule number five: Realize that they don’t care and move on. Do not continue to reach out to them, do not make excuses for them. Understand that you are worth more then what they have done to you and move on. Karma has a funny way of working out, and I can guarantee you that someone will come along and treat you 100 percent better then the ghoster ever would have.

Rule number six: Don’t give up on dating. Yes, there are some shitty people out there that make plans with you, and then completely disappear or date you then disappear, but that does not mean that everyone does it. Take the situation for what it was and learn from it. Try to figure out if there were red flags prior to the ghosting and be more cautious with the next person that you date. Keep communicating and don’t change who you are.

The best thing you can ever do for yourself is have self love. Without self love you will continue to allow people into your life that treat you like this. This summer, do yourself a favor and cut off anyone that treats you like this. Ghosting is hurtful, it’s mentally and physically draining and the only way you can get through it, is if you understand that these people are not meant to be with you.

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Britt Ogonofski
A self-made entrepreneur, model and businesswoman, Philadelphia-born Britt Ogonofski is the Founder and CEO of Tampa-based travel lifestyle brand, Borgiott. Founded in 2015, Brittany studied at Sports Management Worldwide with a concentration on analytics and scouting football. Previously in a 11-year relationship before being single for the last three years, Brittany has been published in eight magazines--including INSC--and enjoys giving back to the community.

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