Infidelity is always unforgivable, right? You feel used, mistrusted, betrayed and angry and you have every right to feel that. We always sympathize with the victims but what about the cheaters? What’s their side of story? Why did they cheat?
Are they habitual of cheating or are there always some series of events that lead to infidelity?
The truth is, it’s a cause and effect game. Even cheaters cheat for some reasons. Not all of them are bad and not all of them are good. We interviewed a bunch of individuals who were guilty of cheating on their partners. Let’s hear it from the cheaters themselves to learn how infidelity starts and what makes them cheat in the first place.
Story #1: Insecurity
A research by Florida State University says that insecurity in one or both partners can lead to infidelity. When a person feels they are too young, old, fat, thin, or stupid to be desirable, they have a problem. Such people use extramarital sex, filtration and porn to feel good about themselves and hence they cheat.
Here is a story of Sasha and her insecurity troubles:
“My partner was stronger and more confident than I was. I didn’t really realize I was the insecure one in the relationship until now. I always felt I wasn’t good enough for him. These feelings made me infidel. It is not just my high school boyfriend that I cheated on, I cheated on other guys too all because of the same reason. I was always scared that my boyfriend will find out how shallow I am on the inside. Now, I am in therapy dealing with my insecurities with the help of a friend.”
Story #2: I Was Too Young
Marrying too young often leads to divorce whether infidelity is a part of it or not. Even celebrities like Hillary Duff made a confession about her early marriage and divorce. You always end up in a mess, especially when both of you are young and ambitious and responsibilities kick in.
Here is Jake’s interesting story about his infidelity:
“I was 18 when I got married. We both were in love but we didn’t have enough money to start a new life. She had plans of studying in aboard. We started fighting on money matters and eventually we lost respect for each other. All the love faded away. Instead of navigating the situation properly, I got involved with someone else.”
Story #3: I Met the Love of My Life
Sometimes, you meet the love your life at the wrong time maybe when you are already in a relationship. In fact, it is easy for married men to fall in love with women outside marriage. Here is a story of John:
“We had been married for 5 years with two kids. There wasn’t any spark in our marriage to begin with. She was a successful person and so was I, but I always felt that I am with a wrong person. On my visit to Turkey for an exhibition, I found a wonderful writer. I wasn’t really looking for a relationship but I have fallen in love with her. She makes me want to be a better person.”
Story #4: I Felt Neglected, Underappreciated and Ignored
Yes, neglect leads to infidelity. Mostly, these emotions are triggered in women and yes, women cheat too. When a woman feels like a housekeeper or a financial provider more than a wife or girlfriend, she is vulnerable to look for an external situation that brings her appreciation and love.
Here is a story of Tina, who confessed her infidelity to her husband:
“I felt like I was a nobody. I left my job to take care of our daughter but I wasn’t appreciated for it once. I didn’t want to be treated as a nanny and a housekeeper anymore. Plus, my husband always seemed busy in his job. I couldn’t help but look for attention and appreciation elsewhere. I am not really proud of it though.”
Story #5: I Was Emotionally Disconnected
When a relationship hits an emotional iceberg, it invites troubles. If a partner feels sad or lonely, they seek emotional affiliation. It may start with looking for a friendship and then this turns into an intimate relationship.
Here is the story of Jess and his emotional disconnection with his wife:
“My wife never paid attention to my feelings. Our relationship was all about her. I felt left out whenever I was with her. I was struggling to cope with it but this made me more and more upset at times. I began talking to my old friend as I needed to talk to someone who could understand me. I felt more connected with her and this made me lose interest in my wife. My friend began to take the role of my partner. We see each other a lot and I feel happier with her than my wife.”
Story #6: I Was Physically Dissatisfied
Some partners confess that they got sexually dissatisfied which made them stray. That’s what’s supposed to happen when sex leaves marriages. People compare their present physical relation to the time when they started off. Some people think it is difficult to have a playful sex with the person you share your life with. Such individuals are enticed to have sex outside marriage. The person they are having sex with does not truly know them so they believe you have the freedom to be anyone in front of them.
George confesses he has slept with a number of women outside his marriage. Here is his story:
“Over the years, my wife stopped putting efforts to make our time in bed pleasurable. It’s not that she is not taking care of my physical needs, but I have developed a habit of seeking pleasure outside our marriage. It’s never the same when I do it with her.”
Now you must be wondering, whether or not to dig the matters deep and find out what made your partner infidel. Some of you may also be thinking about giving them a second chance. Others may be wondering how to protect themselves from marital infidelity. The best cheating apps 2017 can actually help you. Xnspy.com is one valuable resource to monitor the activities of your spouse just to be sure they are not involved in another relationship. We don’t recommend you to spy on cheating spouse. Use the consent of your partner before using the app as it may offend them. You can certainly use Xnspy as a means to protect yourself from infidelity but be sure that you and your partner agree to it. It is not encouraged to use it to spy on cheating spouse and break their trust just like they broke yours.