To most, sex is about reaching the station ‘Orgasm.’ But there’s a curious bunch that cares more about the journey. That bunch rides the ‘Tantric Sex Express.’
Think of it as a meditative form of sex that invites you to slow down, be fully present, and connect with your partner on a whole new level.
Curious? Let’s dive into what tantric sex is, clear up some common myths, and explore how you can practice it in your relationship.
Rather than focusing on a single goal (in this case, an orgasm), tantric sex shifts your attention to the process. Every touch, breath, and moment of eye contact becomes an opportunity to connect – not just physically but emotionally and spiritually.
Understanding the Philosophy of Slow Sex
At the heart of tantra lies a philosophy that celebrates the weaving together of body, mind, and spirit to create deep intimacy and connection.
The word “tantra” itself means “weave” in Sanskrit, reflecting the way this practice brings together the physical and spiritual aspects of our true nature.
Rather than separating sexuality from the rest of life, tantra encourages us to embrace every part of ourselves and our relationships, allowing for a deeper understanding of who we are and how we connect with others.
Incorporating tantric principles into your relationship means moving beyond surface-level interactions and exploring the emotional and spiritual layers that make intimacy truly meaningful.
By being present with your partner’s body and your own, you can cultivate a sense of unity and understanding that goes far beyond the physical. This approach to connection isn’t just about sex—it’s about weaving together every aspect of your being to create a relationship that feels deeply fulfilling and authentic.
Whether you’re new to tantra or looking to deepen your practice, remember that the journey is about discovering your true nature and allowing that understanding to enhance every connection you make.
How to Practice Passionate Sex
Now that the benefits of tantric sex are clear, let’s talk about practice. If you’re thinking about spicing your sex life with a pinch of tantra, here are some tips and best practices to follow:
First, choose a good place that is comfortable and free from distractions to help you relax and focus. When it comes to clothes, remember that they are optional—some people prefer to start with clothes on and remove them gradually, while others may remain clothed throughout the experience.
Using sex toys during foreplay also promotes mindfulness since it encourages you to slow down and enjoy sex – not just rush to the grand finale. Popular sex toys are vibrators and stimulators, but I encourage couples to consider using a penis sleeve, essentially a textured or ribbed sheath that fits over the erection. This enhancer is a great addition to slow sex because penis sleeves are delicate requiring passionate, gentle penetration. Furthermore, the padded cock sleeve reduces sensation for the man and helps to prevent premature ejaculation.
Continue exploring the next steps and deepen your understanding of tantric practices in the following sections:
#1 Prepare your mindset & set the mood
Tantric sex begins long before physical touch. To fully embrace the experience, you must first create the right environment and mindset that will allow both you and your partner to feel safe, open, and fully present.
Start by talking to your partner about what you’re interested in exploring. Be clear about your boundaries and listen to theirs. This sets a foundation of trust. Pay close attention to your partner’s body and their responses during these conversations, as being attuned to their comfort and reactions is essential for deepening intimacy.
For example, you might begin with a simple tantric practice like giving your partner a mindful Tantric massage or practicing synchronized breathing together. These activities help you connect with your partner’s body and foster a sense of presence and relaxation.
Then, let go of the idea that sex has to “go somewhere” or lead to orgasm. Instead, focus on being in the moment and enjoying the experience as it unfolds.
With the mindset in the right place, it’s time to take care of the mood. Create a calming, distraction-free space. Dim the lights, light candles, or use essential oils for a relaxing aroma. Soft music or nature sounds can also help set the tone.
A good idea is also to dress comfortably. Wear something loose and soft that feels good against your skin. Going fully nude is also an option. The idea here is to feel physically at ease, which will help you relax in the moment.
#2 Start slow
Once the mindset and mood are set, it’s time to explore some core tantric practices. These aren’t rigid “rules” but rather tools to help you connect and deepen intimacy.
Begin by engaging in breathing sessions together. Sit facing your partner, either cross-legged or in a comfortable position. Try matching your breathing: inhale deeply and exhale slowly, aiming to sync your rhythms.
As you breathe together, imagine your energy connecting and flowing between you. This simple act can create a profound sense of unity.
Another simple way to engage in a tantric experience is eye gazing. Maintain eye contact with your partner for a few minutes without speaking. Maintaining a soft gaze can deepen emotional connection and foster a sense of presence between you.
This might feel vulnerable or even awkward at first, but it’s incredibly powerful in fostering emotional intimacy and helping you feel seen and connected.
As you gradually build connection and intimacy, start exploring each other’s bodies with gentle, deliberate movements. There are a lot of different ways to build anticipation and connection in tantric sex.
Use your hands, fingertips, or soft objects like feathers or silk. Focus on the sensation of touch itself rather than rushing to stimulate erogenous zones. This practice can heighten sensitivity and build anticipation.
Also, keep in mind that tantric sex is about stretching time and deepening every moment. Extend foreplay, linger on kisses, or spend extra time touching and holding each other. Keep the pace slow and steady as you move toward intercourse.
#3 Experiment with foreplay
Tantric foreplay is a deeply intimate and intentional experience that focuses on connection, presence, and exploration. It transforms foreplay into a journey of discovery, where you savor every moment instead of rushing toward arousal.
The simplest tantric foreplay technique is full-body massage. Use warm oils and slow, deliberate touch to connect with and appreciate each other’s bodies. Some techniques involve kneeling or positioning on the knees for comfort and deeper intimacy, and the ground serves as a stable foundation for these sensual practices.
Tantric touching takes this further, encouraging you to explore every inch of your partner with soft caresses and strokes, awakening senses and deepening your bond. During intimate moments, a partner may rest their head between the other’s legs, enhancing the sense of closeness and trust.
Mindful kissing becomes a meditation in itself – long, slow, and passionate, as you focus on the taste and feel of your partner’s lips and tongue.
Energetic touching invites you to play with the space between your bodies, hovering your hands just above their skin to heighten anticipation and attune to their energy.
Embracing the Tantric Journey
Contrary to popular belief, tantric sex isn’t about achieving perfection or mastering advanced techniques. It’s about slowing down, being present, and rediscovering the connection and intimacy that feels authentic and meaningful.
Whether you’re looking to strengthen the bond with your partner or simply curious to try something new, tantric sex opens the door to a fresh, deeper perspective on intimacy and pleasure.
So, take a deep breath, let go of any expectations, see where the journey takes you, and embrace the experience.