Home>#INSCMagazine>LGBT: The Dating Life of a Trans Woman
#INSCMagazine Dating & Relationships LGBT

LGBT: The Dating Life of a Trans Woman

INSCMagazine: Get Social!

There are complex issues in the life of any transgender person. Dating and developing intimate relationships with others is much more difficult. There are resources and support for those who are transitioning and those who have completed their transition.

A common issue among trans women is the feeling of vulnerability around when or if she should share the fact that she is trans. Trans women are born with the sex organs of a male but are living their lives and completely identify as a woman. When and how to reveal this information is a personal decision, but many women in this position feel pressured to reveal this very early in the relationship.


It is an intensely personal decision, and many people do not discuss such intimate details early on in a relationship. Trans women often feel they have to, despite their preferences, to avoid conflict or anger when the other party finds out about her transition.

As is true of all women, trans women want respect for the people they are. They want not to be objectified for a choice they made about their bodies. They frequently encounter potential partners who view them is nothing more than a fetish or a novelty.

Some things that most trans women wish potential partners knew before dating them:

· Don’t assume they all have the same body. Transitioning is a deeply personal decision, and exactly what a person chooses to do with their body is their decision.

· Treat them like you would any other date. Take the time to get to know the person instead of obsessing over their status as a transgender person.

· Sexuality and gender are two different things. Do not confuse the two. A trans woman is a woman.

· If you are afraid of the stigma then do not bother with the relationship. No one wants to be someone else’s secret.

· Acknowledge the courage of their journey. It is not an easy thing to transition from one gender to another. This person you are getting to know has been through a great deal to reach the place that she is. Respect that.

I think if trans women could send one message to the world, it would be to see them for who they are and not just the sum of their transition. They are people with stories to tell, personalities to explore and beauty and courage to offer the world.

Unfortunately, dating can make dating dangerous for a trans woman. Trans women are aware of the need to be vigilant about protecting themselves. Many have had negative experiences where men have felt betrayed or duped when learning they are dating a trans woman. If a trans woman wants to date a man, he often feels his sexual orientation is called into question when dating a trans woman. Dating a trans woman does not mean you are gay. It means you are attracted to someone who has chosen to live their lives as a woman.

Typical things mostsingle trans women will encounter:

· Back-handed compliments like “wow, you don’t look trans.”

· Trans women will encounter many people who refuse to date them. The refusal, based solely on their transition, is hurtful.

· They feel they are unsafe in certain environments. This is sadly a huge consideration for a single trans woman. It dictates a large portion of her dating life. Is it safe to reveal or not reveal their transition? What about those who have a transgender phobia?

· Being bombarded by insensitive questions.

Being a single trans woman is full of challenges. As is true of all people, they want acceptance for who they are. They want safety, security, and freedom to date as any other person does.

Facebook Comments

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.