Keishorne Scott is the heartbreak coach. Born and raised in Brooklyn, New York, Keishorne is devoted to helping people heal from their heartaches, while coaching them to build their best selves and their best lives in the process.
Keishorne proclaimed in his best-selling book L.I.F.E. that, “God is shifting you. That’s why you feel uncomfortable at the moment. Trust the process. A new season is approaching”. It is that insight and comforts that Keishorne offers to his clients, his readers, and his worldwide audience as they navigate the journey to recovery, healing, and renewal.
Word about his work and the life-altering results his clients achieve continues to spread in numerous publications and media outlets including Good Morning America, ABC News, ABC World News Now, MSN.com, Yahoo!tv, Newsday, News 12, Marriage.com, Canarsie Courier, Rolling Out Magazine. As a two time best-selling author and Forbes recognized leading coach, Keishorne continues to spread his inspiring message of hope and transformation by walking through the pain of heartbreak with readers worldwide.
During an interview about his latest aptly titled workbook, The Heartbreak Workbook, Keishorne opened up about his journey throughout heartbreak and the forgiveness process he experienced himself that he sees as his life’s work to share with others in pain. Motivated by his desire to forgive himself, his ex, and others in his life while also turning his pain into his purpose, Keishorne aims to help take his readers from the brokenness they feel to the wholeness they deserve.
How has your relationship experience impacted your life and your work as an author?
“I went through a tough breakup in 2010 that changed me in fundamental ways. I was engaged to be married and I thought this was the relationship that I would grow and foster for the rest of my life. When that relationship fell apart, I was a broken man. I really thought I had love figured out. I thought I had myself as a man figured out and was ready to give myself to another person. That breakup showed me that I had work to do to move from being a boy to being a man, a true partner.
I realized through that healing journey that I didn’t like the man I was and I wanted to become a better man for my future self. The process of healing from that heartbreak brought me closer to God and closer to love. What I found through that process of healing and forgiveness that I followed was that the love I wanted was possible and that I deserved it. After walking that long road back to myself, I realized that there really wasn’t a whole lot out there to help people going through heartbreak.
I found that having concrete steps and goals really helped me to put one foot in front of the other and start to heal. I do what I do because I truly want to help others figure out the kind of partner they want to be and the kind of partner they want and deserve in their lives. In the depths of heartbreak, it can be so difficult to see the other side.
But, when we start to forgive ourselves and forgive those that have hurt us, we begin to transform into the person we were truly meant to be. I write for people to really discover the whole self that they can be as they move through their heartache.”
What did getting your heart broken teach you?
“I know that it can be hard for people in the depth of heartbreak right now to see all the lessons in that pain, but they will be there. I learned so many valuable lessons about myself and the kind of man I wanted to be. I also learned how to treat other people, particularly a partner in the future. The biggest lessons I learned that I share with my readers and clients are that you cannot beg for what does not want to stay. People will come and go like the changing of the seasons. It is not always your fault.
That is a very hard pill to swallow at first. When your heart is broken and that pain is all-consuming, all you want is for that person to come back. But not all people are meant to stay in your life forever. Relationships are meant to teach us lessons and then they move out of our lives and that is not always our fault.
We also want to welcome the relationships that are meant to stay, that want to stay and not be stuck begging the ones to stay that are trying to leave. It’s such a different way of seeing love and relationships but so valuable to honor your worth and your value.”
What do you consider to be your greatest accomplishment?
“This path that I have taken to this point, going through heartbreak myself, has really been the accomplishment in a lot of ways. It brought me to write two best-selling books that help people heal. It brought me to the most amazing calling to inspire men and women all over the world to become the best versions of themselves.
It brought me to accept Jesus Christ in my life. It brought me to hundreds of thousands of people in my work. It brought me to my wife, the love of my life. It brought me my daughter, the greatest love I have ever known.”
What is your best piece of advice for people who are struggling through a breakup right now?
“I invite people who are struggling through a breakup right now to first acknowledge and accept the pain. It is a loss. You are allowed to grieve this loss and feel the pain that you feel. Don’t push that pain away and don’t let the world around you make you feel like your pain isn’t valid. It is. Once you give yourself permission to feel and grieve, you are also giving yourself permission to forgive and heal.
Take the next step forward through that pain and forgive yourself. We all make mistakes. We all have could haves and should haves with relationships. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you made, the things you did or didn’t do. Forgiveness allows you to change the way you view yourself and treat yourself and it truly will allow you to begin to move forward through your pain.”
What would you tell someone who is losing hope and doesn’t believe they can heal?
“You are worthy. You are valuable. You deserve love. The thing is that worth, value, and respect don’t just happen. You have to work for them. When you are in the middle of the pain that heartbreak brings, it can be appealing to throw in the towel and lose hope. It’s hard enough to just get out of bed in the morning sometimes. Giving up hope can seem attractive.
That path doesn’t seem to bring more pain. Taking the first step to healing is hard work. It is a commitment to yourself that does ask you to give just that much more in order to begin your healing. That can seem overwhelming. But trust me. Just take one step. Do one small exercise. Give yourself one positive affirmation of your worth. You can heal. You can forgive yourself. You can forgive your ex. You have to give yourself permission to try and to take just one step.”
Keishorne Scott’s new book, The Heartbreak Workbook, is available on his website keishornescott.com. You can also purchase his two best-selling books, The Mouse, the Bird, the Dog, and the Lion: 3 Men to Avoid and 1 to Marry and L.I.F.E. (Love, Insecurities, Friends, Envy), as well as learn more about the author, his journey, and his work.