Men and women can be considered to have similar sexual desires – and it is to get a release. But in a relationship, both partners need to do a little give and take to ensure that the other is happy and satisfied sexually. But it is also true that most women feel that men are quite selfish during sex. Now before you declare war on my words, I would like to include that may be not all men are like that. It is possible. Because when you are in love, you want to please and love your female partner too. That said, the men I have come across, especially casual lovers just chase their own pleasure. And once they are done, the sex session is over. Sometimes, they are too selfish during sex!
Researchers from a university in California found that 88% of lesbian women orgasmed, while only two-third women in heterosexual relationships got to an orgasm. This means that around 65% of women reported achieving orgasm while 95% of men reported achieving orgasm in heterosexual relationships. Women tend to fake orgasm while making sure that their partner is getting there. It is true that women take time to orgasm and if men don’t get this or aren’t ready to work on this, then the woman will just fake it. The problem could lie in the fact that women fake it and aren’t vocal about their dissatisfaction.
But to tackle the first issue, here are a few ways you can spot if your partner is selfish.
- Concerned about their own climax and orgasm
Be it a man or a woman, the main point of having pleasurable sex is to try to ensure that both the parties get to climax. The focus is on trying at the least. In the real world, it may not always be possible that both parties orgasm, but it is important to try. Most women have said that after sex, in a heterosexual relationship, they need to use a vibrator to get themselves off. It is a given that women take time to orgasm, so an aware man must take this into consideration and not just think about their own orgasm.
- Expect receiving oral pleasure but not returning the favour
Most men like blowjobs and women do give that. However, some men are not willing to return the favour as they think the vagina is gross or smelly. If it is a hygiene issue, one can always request the woman to freshen up and the woman can ask the man to do the same. But always getting away with reciprocating oral pleasure shows selfishness.
- Impatient when partner takes time to get pleasure
Some like to take it slow and steady. Women also need some time to get to climax and sometimes the partners aren’t willing to wait for that. Unfortunately, mainstream porn also propagates wild and quick sex, which may not always be realistic. A good male lover will take time and wait to take and give pleasure if needed.
- Begging for sexual positions that the partner doesn’t enjoy
This one is quite common among lovers or partners. One partner may be wanting to try a sexual position that the other isn’t comfortable with. Sex and intimacy can be a wonderful experience if both partners are happy. But demanding something that the other isn’t happy with shows some level of selfishness.
If you actually look at the issues that show selfishness, you will notice that most women have come across such male lovers at some point in their lives. There is also a high chance that a woman had such lovers all her life. But that said, life is all about learning and moving on, so I will say this that some men have learnt and changed their behaviour to accommodate the woman’s needs too.