Sophie Cunningham, No. 8 for the Indiana Fever, is without question my favorite player from the Women’s National Basketball Association.
She is a bit like Robin Hood or Zorro, a superheroine forced to fight with incredible skill, nerve, guts and superpowers for justice in an unjust society–the WNBA in this case.
The WNBA, it seems to many observers, including this one, is run by bullies who are successfully holding down the true talent in the league via illegal fouls, including throwing players on the floor and–what really gets my ire–poking players in the eye, which is not necessarily recoverable. She gets regularly fined for standing up for her teammates, and yells at the refs, “DO YOUR JOB,” because they are intimidated by the bullies in the league. The bullies, you see, are in the vast majority, and if it were a democracy, the bullies would vote truly talented players out of the League so that the bullies could win.
Sophie Cunningham is my favorite but she is not the best player on her team. That would be Caitlin Clark. However the other teams in the NBA wish to see Clark neutralized via hard fouls, even at least one attempt to literally poke her eyes out in a game.
This is fine, according to the WNBA refs, who feel pressured by the other WNBA teams to allow ultra violence against Clark who might otherwise stifle the chances of the other teams to win. With all the other teams telling the refs that violent fouls–especially on Clark– are okay, the refs, whether consciously or unconsciously, have fallen into line. Yes, extraordinary violence is okay. Permanent, disabling injury is acceptable.
This is a legal play in the WNBA. A foul was called on Caitlin Clark for pushing Jacy Sheldon back, but the eye poke was de facto legal. So, an opposing Coach should probably advise players to do it again since the refs don’t call it and you want more talented opponents out of the league.
Enter Sophie Cunningham, who happens to be a black belt martial artist who God forgot to give the emotion of fear when she was born. She is a gifted basketball player but she is also 6’1″ and 170 pounds of blonde hair, good looks, sass and vinegar and she has become the Enforcer. Mess with Clark, and Cunningham will pound you. She is like Dennis Rodman for the Bulls. Mess with Michael Jordan, and Rodman would knock your head off. Well, so will Sophie if you mess with Caitlin or her teammates. The NBA does not fine players for poking Caitlin Clark in the eye, but does fine Sophie for retaliating. She doesn’t care.
After messing with Caitlin Clark, Sophie helped Jacy Sheldon reach a new, more intimate familiarity with the court floor.
Ironically, when the WNBA fined her $500 for criticizing the ineffective refs. Sophie cried all the way to the bank, thoroughly traumatized by the discipline. According to published estimates, Sophie’s brand value increased by a million dollars. Cunningham Jerseys completely sold out within days of the incident. Thus, we the fans got Sophie’s back (and from her Instagram photo, baby definitely got back).
Right now she is all about basketball. But at some point she may wish to consider a career in Hollywood. Marvel Studios might be a great match. She wouldn’t need a padded costume because she brings her own sculpted muscles to the set. I think she could be a character that may or may not be a superheroine, but might be a super villainess instead.
Some conclusions:
- Sophie is much better looking than Dennis Rodman.
- If I ever score an interview with Sophie (or maybe Robert Cobb will land a photoshoot gig and allow me to tag along), my dream is to take her out to dinner afterwards, if she will allow me. Don’t worry, I will work things out with my wife. In fact I will bring her along.