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Why You Should Build Something With Your Significant Other Before Marriage

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It’s easy for those in a new relationship to find something to do together. A new couple still has a lot of firsts to experience, whether it’s going on a specific date – like rock climbing – or taking a surprise road trip. Some scientific studies have actually found the honeymoon phase in a relationship to be very real, marking the first few months where essentially everything done together feels euphoric.

For those in more serious relationships but aren’t yet married, you’ve likely reached a point where you’re often content spending a weekend night cuddling and watching TV. You love each other, but have done what feels like everything already. As a couple grows closer, the number of possible firsts decreases, as does their motivation to seek out things to do mutually. The happiness in being together feels sufficient.

Simply being together is great, but you should never neglect your collaborative spirit in making something as a team. Building something – whether it’s as small as building a puzzle or as lofty as constructing a treehouse – has numerous benefits, a number of which will strengthen a relationship and prepare it strongly for longevity:


Teamwork and Skill Development

It’s very beneficial to learn a skill together, as it avoids the undesirable situation of having one person feel inferior to the other in terms of knowledge. By learning together and at the same pace, it’s easier to have fun with it, since you’re working equally with your partner as opposed to catching up to them or doubling as a teacher.

Additionally, the aspect of working together provides great practice for the future. Mutual task distribution allows both of you to develop an organizational skillset that can aid in terms of future mutual decision-making, like purchasing a home or car.

For example, if the project you decided to undertake together is to build a kayak, it makes sense to align skillsets with certain tasks. If you are good with your hands and your significant other is good with planning and organization, it would make sense for them to read instructions aloud and make sure all tools/ingredients are there, while you follow their instructions. The process of building something together can solidify teamwork skills tremendously.

Much-Needed Relief From Technology

One of the most prominent relationship hindrances in 2016 is technology. The allure of your mobile phone probably seems too hard to resist sometimes, especially if it’s next to you and you’re just watching TV. If you’re busy, however, then it’s a lot easier to ignore your phone or even put it away. Building something with your significant other is a great way to unplug from technology in general.

It’s a particularly great idea to base your schedule on your mutual building project. It can help bring you closer together, especially if technology is keeping you from interacting.

construction-work-carpenter-tools (2)Quality Time Together

Would it be easier to call a professional in? The short answer is yes.But depending on your project, the bill may end up being hundreds or thousands of dollars. Not to mention that there are a lot of home repair scams out there that can end up  costing up way more through unfair estimates.

Of course, the best part of building something is the time you spend together in general. In regard to the aforementioned honeymoon phase, it’s likely that the process will remind you of when every task you did together felt new and exciting, because it was. Now that you’ve been together for longer and know each other very well, it’s easier than ever to build something together. This is because you’re aware of mutual strengths and weaknesses and can use that intel to distribute tasks efficiently and in a way that’s fun and makes one another feel useful.

The feeling of mutual accomplishment when the construction is complete feels great, as well. Even when the process of building is over, you two can still reminisce over the process and explore several conversation points: Is there any additions we can make? How would we do this differently next time? Oh – and most importantly: What’s our next building project together?

Getting in the habit of doing building-related projects together – whether it’s constructing a kayak or simply building a puzzle – is a great way to keep your relationship exciting and mutual interest strong. By doing so, you can develop and nurture teamwork and skill development in addition to quality time together, away from distractions and technology. What a great way to build a relationship.

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Robert D. Cobb
Founder, Publisher and CEO of INSCMagazine. Works have appeared and featured in places such as Forbes, Huffington Post, ESPN and NBC Sports to name a few. Follow me on Twitter at @RobCobb_INSC, email me at robert.cobb@theinscribermag.com