The great debate: Pineapple on pizza.

It’s an argument for the ages. Not “Is the dress this color?” or “dog person or cat person?”. No, today’s most debated topic: Can you put pineapple on pizza?

Of course, you’re capable but should you? This is the most talked about thing I’ve seen on social media over the past couple weeks. Aside from the Earth is flat loonies out there, I’ve never been so confused by a general discussion. I mean there are so many better choices than pineapple, who really cares if you should put it on pizza right?!?


As a guy who enjoys eating almost as much as I enjoy sleeping let me say this. Pizza is one of my favorite foods. Even bad pizza is good pizza in my book. Give me a thin crisp and crunchy crust with extra cheese and I’m in heaven. Ask anyone who knows me. Pizza is my jam!

To parody one of my favorite sports movies Moneyball:

“There’s Buffalo Chicken, there’s pepperoni, then there’s 50 feet of crap, and then there’s pineapple.”

Sorry, folks! Pineapple is just above anchovies when it comes to pizza toppings. It’s not even one of the toppings you eat just because the cute girl you’re trying to impress wants it. No! Never put pineapple on pizza.

“But if you put ham on it, it’s a Hawaiian pizza”

Stop it, right now. The only thing that should go with ham on a pizza is other assorted meats. Bacon, pepperoni, or sausage are all acceptable. Pineapple isn’t! Have I tried it before? Sure, if it’s pizza, I’m willing to try it once. But never again. Why may you ask?

Simple. Pizza is another form of bread. How often do you put pineapple on a sandwich as a topping? It doesn’t make sense, right? It gets all soggy and gross and changes the flavor of the sandwich. So it would only make sense to not put it on pizza for the same reasons. I’ve never had pineapple on pizza and got the flavor and consistency a pizza should have.

So consider it settled, have yourself a chicken/bacon/ranch pizza and stop with all the crazy pineapple talk.


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