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Living: Ways To Rebuild Your Relationship After Miscarriage


September 18, 2015

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The loss of a child before it’s even born can be a heart-wrecking moment for any couple. They experience conflicting emotions.

The woman suffers from emotional breakdown and pain for losing a child she had gotten to bond with even though for a short time. The man on the other side suffers for having lost the chance to know his kid and a chance to bond with the child. Accepting the loss is the hardest time for the both of them. The two partners may experience guilt, anger and sadness.

The two of them tend to draw away from each other as they try to cope with the loss and find healing. If caution is not taken, this might become the breaking point of this relationship, especially if this was going to be the first born kid for the couple. However, if you and your partner are going through this trying moment, the following ways should help you cope with the loss and rebuild your relationship to make it even stronger:

• Communicate and Support Each Other

Talking to each other is an excellent starting point for the healing process. Remember, you are both dealing with the same loss and only the two of you can understand what the other one is going through. Now is not the time to be passing blames on whose fault it was. It’s a hard time for the both of you. If he/she ever needed your support, now is the time when they need it even more. Support each other throughout the healing process and within no time, you will be back to your normal self.

• Allow Time To Heal

Pregnancy loss is not something anyone of you had seen coming. Depending upon the circumstances, you will each take their time to heal. You are dealing with the loss differently, and one of you may take a longer time to cope with the loss. It is allowed. Don’t get frustrated as to why you or your partner might be taking a long time to heal, it is a process and requires time.

• A Time Of Reflection

Going through the miscarriage healing process will help you evaluate your relationship greatly. You will learn a lot about yourself, your partner and your relationship in general. You will get time to know each other better. Thus, this time will be the make or break for your relationship. Confide in each other and accept the differences between the two of you. How you communicate and support each other during this trying moment will determine how strong your relationship will stand. During this moment you need to be more emotionally strong and don’t forget that your health is much important as your relationship and thus evaluate your relationship positively as relationship status can affect your health.

• Seek Help From A Counselor

If one or both of you are finding it hard to deal with the pain and loss, a bereavement counselor will be of great use. Consult one who can help you walk down the healing journey and also show you ways cope with the ranging emotions.

Accept The Loss And Work On Moving On

You were excited about the coming of a new baby. Preparations might have been underway to welcome it. Buying new clothes and a baby cot, everything was just going on perfectly. Then out of the blues, all those dreams were shattered, leaving the both of you downtrodden. But all is not lost. Accept and appreciate the little time you got to feel the baby.

At least you had that chance. You still have more years to live. More babies will hopefully come in your life. Of course none will ever replace the one lost, but don’t grief too much not to appreciate the others. Acknowledge the loss together as this will help you heal faster.

Find A Support System

Support from other people can help the two of you to cope with the loss easily. Family, friends and relatives can help you walk through this path. Seek their guidance on the different issues you are facing. Also, you can talk to those couples that have ever experienced a miscarriage before.

They will help you better understand the situation since they know how it feels. They will offer guidance on how they dealt with the pain and also how they recovered together, leaving their relationship unshaken.


A lot of things can cause miscarriage. It is unexpected most of the times and thus can be a major blow to a relationship. How you support each other during this grieving moment can have a long lasting effect on the relationship. This time can knock down even the strongest of relationships if caution is not taken. These could be caused mostly if the anticipation of parenthood was one of the major reasons keeping the two of you together. The above tips will help you through the healing process and make you relationship even more firm and unshaken.




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Robert D. Cobb
Founder, Publisher and CEO of INSCMagazine. Works have appeared and featured in places such as Forbes, Huffington Post, ESPN and NBC Sports to name a few. Follow me on Twitter at @RobCobb_INSC, email me at robert.cobb@theinscribermag.com

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