As teenagers, most women would assume that having sex for the first time is bound to be painful. Because biologically, a barrier is supposed to break and this meant blood and pain. This may or may not be true and everyone has a different experience. But by the time women get to the stage where they are ready to have sex, there is definitely some trepidation about experiencing pain. Losing virginity may or may not be painful depending on the person, here are a few reasons why.

  • Most girls in developed countries become sexually active in their teenage years. Most boys do too. Males and females want to “do it” any chance they get. However, good sex is a skill and teenagers are just horny without much experience. Therefore, the male partner may not necessarily know how to do things so that the female doesn’t feel pain.
  • In countries, where women don’t have a lot of freedom or say in any matter, may also experience painful intercourse. Men may not really think about things like foreplay and may just get to penetrative sex, which is painful. Also, men do not easily share about premature ejaculation issues and can lead to painful sex.
  • Lack of communication and skill during sexual intercourse is also a factor that may cause pain.

However, one must understand that it isn’t a necessity, that a woman will feel pain when losing her virginity. A lot of it could be psychological, out of fear. Or it could also be that the vagina is not wet enough for comfortable sexual intercourse.


The first time you have sexual intercourse, it may feel good or hurt or you may experience both. Some women have more hymenal tissues than others and when this is stretched, there may be more bleeding and pain. But it depends and with the right technique, you can actually enjoy the experience of losing virginity.

Here are a few tips to ensure that your first time isn’t as painful.

Be familiar with your body

Being familiar with your body is about understanding what feels good for you and what doesn’t. The only way to understand this is by exploring your body through masturbation. You must know the erogenous zones on your body and what you like sexually. Your partner may not know about all this because it’s your body, so you need to know.

Talk to your partner

Set the expectations right while getting intimate with a partner. First time sex can be awkward and inexperience may increase the discomfort level. That is why it is so important to talk, to communicate. Be it your nervousness or your sexual likes, talk about it.

Be realistic

We must understand that first time sex may not be as exciting as what they show on porn channels or romantic movies. Anything done for the first time may include awkwardness, nervousness and maybe even fear. So, it is important to be realistic and go into it with an open mind.

Enjoy foreplay

It is so important to understand that foreplay can make or break a sexual encounter, especially if it’s the first time. Foreplay can make a woman feel extremely good, even before penetrative sex. It can create natural lubrication, making penetrative sex so much better.

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