You may have found some people that you would like to hook up with, but you do not intend to date them for some reason, like maybe you feel that they have some qualities that you cannot put up with for long. However, it is not easy to keep away emotions during the interactions with people you may hook up with.

The critical thing is to indicate from the very beginning that you only intend to have fun and nothing serious. So, how do you politely go about telling someone that you only want a hookup?

Say it very clearly

It is crucial from the onset to make things very clear and leave no room for ambiguity or misunderstanding. You should try saying it simply and politely. Try something like, “Hi, I think you are a great guy or girl, but I am just out to have fun.”

You need to state this as early as possible, even if it is difficult, before you warm up to each other. It may also look awkward to tell someone that you have not met before that you just want a casual interaction. The important thing is that you want them to be aware of what you are looking for and what you are not after.

No matter how you met, whether it was at an event like a party or in an entertainment venue, or even online through such sites, you need to have your intention well understood. If the other person is ok with just a hookup, then you are good to go, and if they are not, you can move on and try your luck with someone else.

Inform them it has nothing to do with them

While you may not have any romantic attachment with the people you wish to hook up with, you must treat them compassionately and with respect. Try as much as possible not to hurt their feelings. You may use humour where possible to inform them that you have nothing against them. Make them understand that it is all about you and all you want at that moment is a hookup. They will be glad to learn that you do not want a relationship, but that it is not that you do not want a relationship with them specifically.

As you approach those you wish to hook up with, you also need to bear in mind that some people do not support the idea of casual flings, so it may not be something they want. If they do not want it, respond politely and move on.

If there is post-hookup interaction, restate your intention politely

Despite having informed the person you hooked up with that there is nothing serious going on, they may want to call you or go out with you or be with you again after the casual interaction. That is an indication that you are incredible and you may also wish to be with them again. However, you need to let them know that you enjoyed the hookup, but as you had informed them, that was all you were interested in.


You can enjoy hookups provided you let those you are involved with know of your intention without leaving any room for ambiguity. It is critical to be upfront from the onset and do so with compassion and respect. If any of those you intended to hook up with are not okay with the arrangement, just accept it and move on. Enjoy hookups with no fear of hurting anyone by being honest as early as possible.


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