Independence – it’s the most crucial thing in a relationship. People tend to see themselves as part of something bigger, and they might be correct, but dependence is never healthy. Thousands of relationships break down because they lack a sense of self, are suffocating or get stale, and autonomy is the missing jigsaw piece.
Of course, it’s not as easy as clicking your fingers and imparting your relationship with independency. To find the perfect balance, it’s essential to work hard and focus. Here, then, are the ways you can make sure you get “me” time.
Have Your Own Interests
It’s important for two reasons. The first is regarding sacrifice; you shouldn’t have to give up the things you love for your boyfriend. Women that do tend to resent their partners and it breaks the relationship beyond repair. Secondly, it’s a natural way to spend time apart. Going to the gym or taking part in a yoga class with the class will separate you for a few hours and give you time to talk to different people and interact on another level. When you do see them again, there will be a rush of adrenaline and excitement.
And Your Own Money
Money obliterates relationships as the interaction between couples often gets toxic. One person relies on another for cash, said person gets annoyed, and the other is angry that they are seen as self-reliant. Like sharing interests, it’s okay to share bank accounts but don’t get to the point where you need to ask them for pocket money. Budget wisely and spend within your means, and, if all else fails, use trusted online lenders. They can be dangerous but you shouldn’t be at risk as long as you loan a small amount and pay it back as soon as possible, a lot like a credit card.
Couples become so intertwined that they often ask permission before they do something. Doesn’t it sound like something a child would do? Sure, you don’t want to double book your man, especially if it’s a promise, but there’s no need to ask if it’s okay. Instead, mention you’re doing something, like going for a drink, and have a mature conversation. Things can always be rescheduled if they aren’t mega important. Of course, the same goes for him too, so don’t get mad if he pencils in a night with the boys without running it by your first.
“Independence – it’s the most important thing in a relationship.” Well, it’s not entirely true because communication is high on the list two, probably joint number one. Without speaking up about your feelings, he will never know when something’s wrong. If he butts in on girls’ night, tell him it’s not okay and explain why. You shouldn’t let feelings build because you’re scared of an awkward conversation. The only way to work through your issues is to lay them out on the table.
How do you deal with dependency issues? What are your secrets?