I get it, we all get it, you are (at least let’s hope so) a single man, and you are feeling empty and alone. You are horny – have not been laid in…… (fill in the blank).
So you head on over to Plenty Of Fish, Cupid.com, or eharmony, open an account and fill out your profile. Then the browsing among the Smorgasbord of women begins. Black, white, beige. Blonde, brunette, redhead. Thin, voluptuous, athletic. The choices, though finite, seem, at least to you, endless.
And you’re feeling hopeful and enthusiastic!
STOP right there, and check your Lame-O-Meter.
If in your online dating profile under headline you have filled in……
-Boats N hoes
-They call me the horse
-I ran out of chloroform (ok, I guess, I can see the humor in this one)
-Fat chicks need not apply
-420 all day long
Or, if under profession you have filled in…
-CEO of sex
-Bank robber ( again, ok, I see the humor here)
Or any variation of the above, you are registering very high on the Lame-O-Meter.
When sending your first message to a woman please, please, please DO NOT send a message that in any way, shape, or form, sounds anything like this…..
-Hey I bet you have beautiful feet
-I give a great massage
-The eggplant emoji
-I bet you have a nice pseudo penis
Doing so, will only get you a response of discussed and possible nausea.
Gentlemen please heed my warning ⚠️, Women do not want to go to a dating website and see any of this type of nonsense. This only makes you look lame in their eyes. So many times I want to ( but can’t be bothered to waste my time) send them a message asking “Does that line EVER work? It’s so lame”!
Some helpful hints to improve your Lame-O-Meter reading.
1- Be yourself. A profile that sounds genuine and from the heart will take you farther than you may think. Among some of my choice headlines are, “without honesty there is nothing”,“friends first“, “searching for the right woman”, and one of my favorites, “zombie apocalypse survival partner wanted”. What makes this headline a great one? It implies, not only, that this man is looking for his soulmate, it gives a taste of his humor and personality.
2- Read the woman’s bio before contacting her. Before contacting a woman, it is very important to read through her profile. Doing so, will give you the opportunity to ask her a personal question. This will show her that you have invested in more than just her profile pic.
For example, if she states in her profile that she is an artist, you can open with “what type of artist are you?” or if she says that she loves Italian food, you can ask her “What is your favorite dish?” Starting the conversation with a question about her will get the ball rolling by making her feel like you are interested in getting to know her.
3- Take the time to MapQuest, Google or Waze the location of the woman. Don’t be lazy and make her do it, (one of the first things women do is check to see if the distance is reasonable) There is nothing more annoying than seeing that someone who looks interesting, has contacted you, only to find out they live 5 1/2 hours away from you. Make your location clear. Just typing EARTH as your location is big time lame!
4- Do not post pics of yourself in your underwear. Posting pictures of yourself half naked, is never a good idea! However, posting a nice pic of yourself is. Pictures of yourself doing interesting things that reflect your personality are great. I for one, do not respond to messages from people without a profile pic. Just think about it; Do you send messages to women who do not have a profile picture posted? I doubt it!
5- And for goodness sake……do a spell check. We all make mistakes (God knows, spelling is not my forte) but in this day and age, there is really no excuse for a profile full of misspelled words.
So now that you have checked you LAME, get back in the GAME!
*The above is based on the writers real experiences with men on dating sights.
If you would like one on one online dating and profile help, email Victoria Rose at firstname.lastname@example.org.
~ Victoria Rose