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Ms. X: Married Men’s Odd Obsession With Single Women

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In what seems to be a scene ripped out of the script of a Lifetime rom-com, the never-ending obsession of married men have for single women, will never change.

For those who don’t know me, people think it’s weird that I’ve never been married but honestly, it’s just never felt right and I highly doubt that will ever change.

Recently, there’s been a recent influx of married guys trying to hook up with me. Yes, they’re assholes as you’ll say but the thing that strikes me as odd is how they profess their love for their wives. “Oh, I love my wife and would never divorce her, I just really want you, or we don’t have enough sex, or I like variety.”


If you love your wife that much, how could you disrespect her like that? Not only are you disrespecting her, but you’re also disrespecting me by essentially saying I’m good for only one thing. You’re saying I offer no value other than my vagina.

I truly believe that two people aren’t meant to be together forever. I know that’s a bold statement and I know a lot of people won’t agree with me but I see it every damn day. I see one or the other growing bored and seeking excitement from someone new. I see it all too often where guys don’t feel their egos are being stroked enough, their woman isn’t putting out enough, etc.

And women aren’t getting the amount of romance or attention they want. They start to get that from someone else and it’s exciting to them and end of story.

Because of this, I have no desire to be in a committed relationship.

So here it is: Dear married men, stop trying to get with women like me. I don’t want the karma of being a homewrecker, I’m NOT side piece status, I don’t need your wife calling me crying or trying to fight me when I did nothing wrong, and finally, there are plenty of single guys that I can spend my time with.

Why do you think you’re so special that I need to risk so much just to spend a couple of hours with you? Grow up and go buy your wife some flowers and tell her she’s beautiful. You make it very difficult to trust the good ones.

Now, I won’t put this all on the dudes. We all know there are some little hussies out there that are into married guys. To these ladies: stop devaluing yourselves. You’re worthy of someone who doesn’t share his time. You don’t want to be a secret. Take a moment to think about that man’s wife and her feelings.

You’re essentially getting all the good stuff while she has to deal with all the ugly parts of a relationship. Don’t be selfish, disrespectful, dishonest, and shady. Go get yourself someone that will give you 100%.

Being a woman, I have this need to call all the ladies who constantly facilitate the primal urge of men to “spread their seed” in the mistresses—i.e. side piece, the other woman—to please stop what you’re doing in diddling away precious time on Tinder and go after available men and find a guy—even if it is for one night–who is just as single and non-committal as you.

While we are on the subject, I also suggest that you find the nearest therapist to help you address whatever underlying “Elektra complex” daddy issues –and sexual addiction—that you have in being attracted to older, attached men.

Taking another woman’s man is not only selfish and overly self-indulgent, but you have to ask yourself; is it worth the non-stop drama and never-ending harassment on social media and your “man” being sued by a scorned woman for alimony and infidelity.

As a married friend of mine stated to me recently about what she would do to her husband, if he ever cheated, she would make sure that his wallet hurts and make him feel the pain in a variety of ways.

Again, is the thrill of the chase worth it?

Finally, please don’t take on the responsibility of a relationship if you can’t take it seriously. Relationships are different than what movies would have you believe. Relationships are hard work and if you don’t want to invest in them, then don’t.

No one is making you.


Ms. X

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